Page 4 of 50 First Skates

But I’m getting ahead of myself, and that’s the kind of dreaming that got me in trouble when I was injured.

First things first, Rafferty. You need to find her at the park. From there on it’s simple: Show up. Stay present. Execute the right play at the right time. And don’t let things get complicated.

2

SOLEIL

February 17th

Dear Diary,

Hot damn, I love a new notebook!

There couldn’t be a more auspicious way to start a fresh, new journal than by writing the wordsI met the most amazing guy today…

These are words I have personally never written in a journal before. My journal entries are filled with sentences like,I met the most obnoxious guy today. Or when I was younger:Why don’t any of the guys in my school know how to kiss properly?!

But this guy—I am quite certain I would have no complaints if he’d kissed me.

Here’s another sentence I’ve never written in my journal before: I bet he knows how to spank a girl properly too.

His name is Dean Rafferty, and he’s so good looking that I told him I like to be spanked. It’s possible I also used the termbutt stuff. I have never had that kind of chemistry with a man before. Has anyone? It was actual chemistry. Like, I could feel the chemical reactions happening in real time in my brain andmy body. Sparks and zings that I’ve never felt before. I think staring up at his full, smirking mouth finally unlocked the bad-girl part of my post-pubescent sexual cortex.

*I would look up the correct term for the part of the brain that produces dirty thoughts, but the Wi-Fi router is locked up in the safe today. Anyway, that part of my brain is the part my poor dad has always feared existed. The part I never wanted to scare him with because he went through enough when Mom died.

But that was five years ago. I’m twenty-three now. That’s exactly why we argued last night. I told him I wanted to finally learn how to skate. I wanted to go skating with my bestie, Jessie, and I want to take skating lessons. He needs to stop coddling me. And I need to stop letting him. Maybe it’s time I let myself be a woman.

Maybe Dean Rafferty is exactly the man to bring the woman out of me.

Except…

Dad would never want me to date him. If I do try to date him it could affect Dean’s relationship with my dad and his job. That could affect the team.

Or…

Maybe we should just quietly, secretly see how things go first, take it one step at a time, and figure the rest out later.

I’m getting ahead of myself! I need to write about what happened because this was significant and I want to remember it. An important, big day in my life, after so many monotonous days for years. Not that I’m ungrateful for the life I’ve had. I love my life. I miss Mom, but I can’t complain. However, I also have to admit that in recent years I’ve had this quiet yearning for something or someone that I haven’t been able to name. Something I haven’t been able to put a finger on.

Turns out his name is Dean Rafferty, and I want to get my hands all over him and I want him to put his fingers on, all over, and inside of me.

What?!

I really wish it wasn’t Digital Detox Week because if I had my phone with me today I could have taken a picture of him. I’ll have to sketch him from memory. He had the most gorgeous hazel eyes and a beautiful jawline.

And his butt! Holy bubble buttocks, Hockeyman! I never paid attention to the hockey player butts around here before because I knew they were off-limits for dad-coach reasons. Or because they’re friends with Noah and are off-limits for big brother reasons. Dean Rafferty’s behind is so perfectly shaped it should come with a plaque. And the plaque would saySculpted by a thousand squats. And a thousand more.

I can’t decide if I liked it better when I saw him coming or going.

I just know I liked looking at him more than I’ve ever liked looking at anyone. I felt calm and stimulated at the same time. That has to be a good thing, right?

I am so glad I decided to wander into Whisk It Good after having breakfast at Locally Forked. I was very randomly inspired to see if Sheryl had any new mugs in stock. And then I walked into the store, and the first thing I saw was the nicest man-ass in a pair of jeans I have ever seen.

What followed was a strange and exciting dance of banter, awkwardness, intense flirtation, and some really wonderful moments.

Except my brain short-circuited when he told me he’s the new assistant coach of the Comets. I vaguely remember Dad mentioning back in January that he hired a new hotshot assistant coach from out of town who couldn’t start right away. This was soon after Kyle suddenly quit to move to LA to live withhis new girlfriend. Dad did not—I am sure of it—mention that he hired the best-looking man in the world who also happened to be single and have an amazing butt. Or maybe he did and I wasn’t listening. I guess I should start paying more attention when he talks about hockey.

Anyway, for a split-second I was considering whether or not to just walk away once I knew Dean was off-limits. But as soon as I decided to give it a chance… Blammo. Goodbye coach’s daughter, hello spank-talker.