Page 16 of 50 First Skates

I wish we lived farther away from the park. We didn’t talk while he drove. He had a nice, new pickup truck. It had that new-car smell. It was sexy.

When he pulled into the driveway, Noah’s car was there but Dad’s wasn’t. So I unbuckled my seat belt, picked up my skates, and said, “Thanks for a great first date,” and leaned in really fast to kiss him on the cheek before he could pull away. Then I was out the door and my plan was to run, but it felt weird wearing regular shoes on concrete. So I walked slowly. And hoped he was checking out my butt.

I’m going to sleep early because I can’t wait for the morning to come.

My leg muscles feel toned, and I think I’ll try to kiss Dean on the mouth tomorrow.

I know he’s trying to be good, but maybe life is too short for us to worry about how Dad thinks he’ll feel if I date his assistant coach.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll kiss Dean untilhefalls on his ass.

7

DEAN

April 4th

One week. It’s been a week of first lessons for Soleil. A week of Coach Barrett dropping her off and introducing her to me. The past couple of times, he’s given me a friendly punch on the biceps. I took it to meanThanks for not bonin’ my daughter, kid. Keep it up. And by that I mean, keep it in your pants.

We switched over to skating at the rink in Kincaid Arena on April first. Every day she blushes when she shakes my hand. Every time her dad leaves, she asks me to skate around the rink so she can see me in action. Every time I drop her off, she thanks me for the first date, gives me a quick kiss on the cheek, and I die a little inside because every cell in my body aches to reach for her before she pulls away. Every night she’s all I think about. It makes me happy to remember the day until I remember she’s probably already asleep and forgetting me. But it doesn’t make the day any less special. If anything, it makes it more so.

But it’s been fascinating to watch her progress, because every time she steps out onto the ice she has more confidence than the last. Each time, she’s more impressed with how good she is.Her muscles definitely remember. I have to wonder if her lips do too. I can’t stop wondering if and when her brain will remember. Anything. Me. The accident. I’ve been mentally preparing for the day she finds out about the accident and the memory loss, like it’s the playoffs. Emotionally, it has felt like I was eliminated at the end of every day. But I’m ready for the next step, whenever, whatever it is.

Her forward skating is solid and reasonably smooth. She has increased body awareness on the ice. She can do a basic snowplow stop. She’s attempted a hockey stop every damn time we’ve been on the ice together. The first three times she stumbled and I caught her and it was my favorite part of the lesson. The next few times she didn’t fumble it quite so significantly, but I still caught her. She gets so cocky and impressed with herself because she thought it was the first time.

What I don’t tell her is that even the first time she tried it I could tell she was going to attempt it thirty seconds before she did it. I could read it in her posture. See it in the way her head tilted forward. I was already moving faster before she started to fall. I was ready. I’m always ready. She just doesn’t know it.

I’m just getting in from lunch with the guys when I hear my phone ping with a notification. Even before I pull my phone out, intuitively, my stomach drops and I know it’s not because of the Tree Hugger veggie burger I ate at Locally Forked.

It’s from Coach Barrett:Come to my house ASAP. She found out.

This is it.

It’s Go Time.

I check my wallet to make sure the USB drive is in there, grab the extra Fluicer box, and ten minutes later, I’m pulling into the Barretts’ driveway.

Soleil’s older brother, Noah, is pacing back and forth on the path leading up to the house next to the driveway. He’sdefinitely waiting for me, but I can’t tell if he’s upset or not. I met him earlier this week when we played against his team in Beer League. He seemed like such a fun guy before and after the game, but he was a beast on the ice. There’s a fifty-fifty chance he’s going to try to castrate me. He’s younger than me, and I respect that he’s protective of his little sister, but I can take ’im if I have to.

I get out of the truck and approach him, carrying the Fluicer.

He stops pacing and stares at the box. “The fuck is this?”

“It’s for juicing citrus fruits. It’s an inside joke between me and Soleil. That she doesn’t remember. Or at least she doesn’t know she remembers, but I think on some level she does.”

“You better not be angling to ‘fluicer,’ bro. You barely know ’er.”

“Back off, Brother Bear,” Coach Barrett says from the front door. “He’s one of the good guys.”

“Thanks, Coach.” Lowering my voice, I ask. “What happened? Is she here?”

“She’s in her room,” Coach tells me.

“Crying,” Noah adds. As if I’m the one who made her cry.

“Jessie’s in there with her; I called her first. But I think she’s ready to talk to you.”

“Is she okay?”