Page 13 of 50 First Skates

Fuck.“Well, noteverynight. But fair enough. Okay.”

“Here’s how it’s gonna go. Tomorrow morning, I surprise her with a new pair of skates. Apologize for the fight we had ‘last night.’ Tell her I’ve decided she should take skating lessons if she wants to. I drive her to the rink at the park. You’re there. I introduce you. You teach her how to skate,” he says. “That’s it. If it goes well, we do it all again the next day. And so on. After the outdoor rink closes, you can take her to the arena for public skate time.”

“That’s a great idea.”

“You take it real slow with her on the ice, understand?”

“Of course. You can count on me.” I get up to shake his hand and leave before he changes his mind.

Walking down the hall, I realize I have a spring in my step. As if Soleil isn’t going to forget me every night when she goes tosleep. As if I won’t be a stranger to her every morning. But I’ll show up every day. I’ll make every day count.

And one day, maybe…

One day.

Maybe.

6

SOLEIL

February 17th

Dear Diary,

Wow. Fresh notebook! Fresh skills!

Big news. Stop the damn presses.

This morning when I woke up, there was a wrapped present at the foot of my bed. It was a new pair of skates. From Dad. He apologized for the stupid argument we had yesterday and said if I still want lessons that the new assistant coach he hired is available to teach me in the mornings. I asked him about their game schedule and travel days, and he said not to worry about it. That this guy’s new so he’s not going to be traveling with them all the time. I was so happy I didn’t question it. He made me breakfast and then dropped me off at the outdoor rink.

I was expecting this new assistant coach to be douchey like Kyle was, but Dean Rafferty is nice. And hot. I don’t even know how it’s possible he didn’t melt the ice, because his butt is fire. As soon as my dad left, I asked Dean to demonstrate how to skate ahead of me so I could study his posture. What I was reallystudying was his posterior, of course. He ordered me to stay off the ice until he came back to guide me.

“Hold on to the board,” he said, kinda gruffly. “Or sit down on the bench. No walking onto the ice until I’m with you. Got it?”

“Yes, sir, Coach,” I said. I don’t usually like being bossed around, but he had a way with orders. And he really had a way with wearing joggers. He looked good coming and going, in fact.

He skated all around the rink once by himself. His grace and athleticism really got to me. Dad told me on the way to the rink that Dean played for the NHL for two years before sustaining a hip injury that forced him to quit. I couldn’t help but wonder as soon as I met him if that hip injury limited his mobility in any way. Not that it would be a good idea for us to date. But Dad seemed to like him. He gave him such a meaningful, strong handshake before he left me alone with him, so who knows. And by the way he skated around the rink, he appeared pretty good at moving to me.

He came back around at a good speed and then came to a hockey stop. Turned his skates perpendicular and dug the edges into the ice. Sharp. Cleaned. Perfectly controlled. There was a spray of ice shavings. The effortless competence was just so attractive to watch. “Can you teach me how to do that?” I asked.

“Eventually,” he said. “Baby steps, Baby Bear.”

“How’d you know that’s my nickname?” I asked.

“Your dad may have mentioned it,” he said. Then he held both his hands out to me and said, “Shall we?”

He held my hand while I walked over to the swinging door in the boards, and I stopped to steady myself before he swung the door open. I walked onto the ice like I had Bambi legs, but he held both my hands like I was his queen.

The ice looked different from that angle. Slippery and foreign and just a little threatening. I found myself hesitating for just a second. I felt this flash of panic that made absolutely no sense.But I stepped out onto the ice anyway. I could feel Dean Rafferty watching me, knowing he’d be studying my every move. I wanted him to know that I’m brave, that I’m willing to take risks.

When I glanced up at him he had this look in his eyes, like,Atta girl.

I started to take another step, but he stood in front of me, blocking me, and said, “Hold on to the boards first.”

I caught my breath. For a second, I forgot where we were. He wanted me to hold on to the board. “Yes, sir,” I said, since he didn’t tell me not to.

“Face the ice. Hold on with both hands behind yourself. You’re gonna get the feel of the blade on the surface of the ice.” He stood beside me. Close, but not hovering.