Page 127 of This Shattered Star

“No. But when I finally held my heart in my hands again—heard yours beat so soundly for me—it was like I’d begun to live again. Like that incessant pull, constantly ripping my chest apart, finally gave me a moment of reprieve. Because I’d spent countless nights believing I’d never be able to hold you, totouchyou again. But I could. And, gods, I couldn’t stop.”

I hadn’t been able to, either. I’d already lost count of all theselfishmomentsI’dstolen. I hadn’t been able to discern why my own heart felt lighter, why the shadows retreated when I’d let everything fade but him.

I hadn’t known.

Hadn’t known any of it. But my soul, my very marrow, had wanted him. Like it had been ushering me to the truth since the very beginning.

I turned my head away from him. From his touch. Tried not to think about how his hand lingered in the air, about the hurt that flashed across his face.

Tried even harder not to feel like an absolute fool. A naïve, clueless fool.

But failed, miserably.

Another growl from Theia, but it wasn’t as violent. It was far lower, accompanied with upturned grass as she shifted her claws. She needed very little magic to sense the war in my head. Even less to feel the pain it wrought on what was left of my heart.

“That doesn’t make me forgive you,” I said, quietly. “Or anyof you, for that matter.”

“I know,” Kodhan replied, just as quiet.

“Back in the tower. It wasn’t just a story, was it?”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“And this goddess you’re referring to. She would be the one that cursed the god of chaos, correct?”

A curt nod.

“Where is he, then? Is he leading the Dark Ones? A supposed killer of gods cannot simply stand idle after all that damage. It’s like I said, we would’ve heard of him.”

“You have. You know him.”

My head was already spinning. But now it began to ache.This was all too much.It felt like I was trapped in some twisted dream that refused to allow me to wake.

“We are approaching a line even you cannot cross, Kodhan. You said you were telling the truth.”

“I am.” His next words were gentle. “Who do you know that has power unlike anyone else? That thrives on discord and chaos? That has a thirst for violence like no other. Basks in it. There is only one person in Aedreath that fits the description.”

He was right. Only one person came to mind.

I was going to be sick. Again.

I swallowed hard against the bile rising up my throat.

“Go on. Say his name. Speak the truth.”

I nearly choked on it. “Maverick.”

It made horrible sense. And I hated that it did. Why he wouldn’t age. Why he had access to so much power that was so different compared to everyone else. Why, sometimes, his very essence screamedother.

“He was never gifted magic from the gods, heisone. He’s the God Killer.”

“That’s right. I’d hoped,” Kodhan paused. Clenched his fists. “I’d hoped that telling you the story would spark at least one memory. That the details would sound familiar somehow. Our very purpose was to eradicate him once and for all.Thatis why she created us.”

My next breath was painful. “You say I’m one of you. Created by the goddess of light. You want me to believe that I’m not cursed.” I’d dreamed of speaking those words out loud my entirelife. But not like this. “What of the vial, then? Why did it feel like my insides were being ripped apart if it didn’t cure me?”

“It might have dispersed some of the restrictive magic they put on you. Enough for some of your power to come back in part. But if you say that shadows have been following you for some time already, then I’m not entirely sure,” he admitted tightly. “Theia?”

“It is worse than I’d hoped. There is no change. It’s interesting, though, that you say the shadows have found you. Because I cannot see them, even now.”