Page 58 of Librarian

Pierce watches it with a raised brow. “Go on.”

“Do you intend to keep using what your mother taught you?”

He’s already shaking his head, disgust wrinkling the corners of his mouth. “I never wanted any of it. The consequences if I refused were…unpleasant. It was marginally more bearable to be the one holding the knife. Not that it stopped her bleeding me for my magic when she needed it.”

He’s talking about his scars. I anticipated that they might be the results of abuse, but I never thought that Isidora would butcher her heir to use his magic for her own purposes.

“The bracelets were a smart touch. Your choice or…”

“Hers.” His hand drops from my back, adjusting the band hidden beneath his coat sleeve like he’s checking it’s still there. “I have other ways to hide them when the bracelets aren’t appropriate. I had to tweak the enchantment when I started faking the covenant mark, but it wasn’t hard. Without it, I’m…not as perfect as a Carlton heir should be.”

“Without it, Isidora wouldn’t be able to play the perfect parent,” I correct. “Your value is not diminished by whatever she did to you.”

Pierce misses a step but recovers. “Of course.”

So high, those walls of his. The confidence, the regal behaviour…it’s all a front for a wounded man. How did I ever miss that?

Probably because he’s spent his life pretending to be that person. He’s good at it.

“No,” I decide, as we push through the heavy door to the keep. “I don’t think I need protecting from you. You’ve been hurt by Mathias and your mother more than I have.”

A flash of something darts through his expression, there and gone before I can name it.

“Good.” He pauses, taking my coat and hanging it by the door beside his. “Where are we going?”

I turn onto the stairs that lead up to our rooms. “I didn’t really have a destination in mind. I just needed to get away from the noise.”

The conversation tapers off. When we reach our landing, I hesitate. I should go to my room, close the door, and go to sleep. It’s been a long day. But now that we’re here, alone, I want to know…

“Why did you kiss me?”

If there’s a hint of vulnerability in my curious question, he’s polite enough to ignore it as he leans against his door.

“Why didyoukissme?” He turns my question on its head.

“I died again,” I answer easily. “And I would’ve stayed dead, having never followed through on the attraction. You frustrate me, confuse me, and drive me up the wall on a good day, but if I met my end without discovering what it was like to kiss you, I knew I’d regret it.”

It’s not an outpouring of love, or a particularly good reason, not really, but he accepts it.

“What happened in the Vault changed everything,” he agrees. “If not for my mother’s spell, I think I would’ve jumped in front of the blade for you, and not just because my grandfather told me to protect the Arcanaeum. You’re…not what I expected. I thought you were this all-powerful figure who could’ve fixed everything. I put you on a pedestal and in the same breath blamed you for what Mathias and my mother were doing. That wasn’t fair. You suffered, too, more than you’ve ever let on. In spite of that, you were still able to look past my bullshit and see me. I think you’re the only person, aside from my grandfather, who’s ever made the effort.”

The unexpected burst of insight is stunning; his candour unvarnished and raw. It cracks between us like glass.

“It was a good kiss,” I breathe, my eyes falling to his lips.

One of his brows rises. “Enough to satisfy your curiosity?”

I tug at my sleeve, allowing myself the tiniest shake of my head.

Seventeen

Kyrith

His answering head tilt is surprised, but his grey eyes flicker with a single heated question.

This is a bad idea. I’m exhausted. My bones still ache with the terror that accompanies knowing that Mathias almost caught me today. Pierce is battling with his own demons after his mother threw him to the wolves.

Sex right now would be a distraction. A temporary balm to the wounds festering within us both.