Page 43 of Librarian

He huffs under his breath. “Leo is being sneaky, huh?”

“Do you think he’s serious?” I ask as he uses his elbow to shove open the door to his own bedroom, just next door.

He shrugs, completely unbothered by Jasper, who’s sprawled on his bed, waiting. “Yeah, I kind of do.”

My jaw drops as he places me on the mattress beside the other man. “What?”

Lambert sits on my free side, smiling when I rest my head on his shoulder. Sitting between the two of them is so right, like being crushed on both sides by warmth and ease.

“Well, maybe I’m just being dumb, but the ensorcellment is gone now, right?”

“Yes.” I clear my throat, trying to force the image of a freshly showered Leo from my brain. “It’s gone.”

I do my best to school my expression, but from the way Jasper’s brows have risen, I haven’t entirely managed it.

“And he agreed to your request for time,” Lambert continues. “And he let me hit him, which helped.”

I lean back, fixing him with a frown. “That is not?—”

“You could try it. It’s very therapeutic. But my point is, it’s okay to be furious with him, but holding onto that anger foreverisn’t healthy. All we can do is give him opportunities and wait and see if he steps up. I mean…I don’twantto hate my only sibling for the rest of my life.”

“You’re telling me you’ve forgiven him because his ensorcellment is gone, he’s your brother, and you punched him?”

“Sounds like it.” Jasper rolls his eyes.

Lambert makes a face. “I’m just not great with grudges?” He says it like a question. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ll wait until he really has… what was it? Given up the last beats of his heart?” He raises a hand with a dramatic flourish worthy of a stage actor as he quotes his brother, then drops it and snorts.

“Look, I’m not going to be the idiot who tries to tell you how you should feel about him. If you never want to speak to him again, I support that. If you do still want him, and he keeps fucking up, I’ll be the first to hold him still so you can beat him with your books.”

I sigh, looking over them both.

They’re both open, kind, and supportive. With men like this, why did I have to fall for Leo, too? I thought my feelings for Edmund sprang out of a combination of naïveté and hero worship, but maybe I just have exceptionally poor judgement.

“Perhaps I simply have terrible taste in men,” I muse aloud.

“Never, lass.” Jasper cups my face, chocolate eyes swimming with sincerity. “You just have a big heart, and not everyone is smart enough to handle it carefully.”

“Hmpf.” A big heart. That’s a new one.

“Just because you guard it well, doesnae mean it isn’t true,” he adds.

My mind flashes back to our date. He told me he loved me then, and the emotion is still shining in his eyes—in both of their eyes, now that I’m looking for it. I held back on expressing myown feelings out of duty, but I just told Leo I loved him. That doesn’t seem fair.

“I love you,” I murmur guiltily. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it back. I was so afraid of what it would mean. The future is so uncertain, but my feelings for you, both of you, are immutable. I shouldn’t have clung to my impartiality as hard as I did. You deserved better.”

“It’s okay.” Jasper’s thumb strokes my cheek. “I told you to take all the time you needed, and I meant it. We can figure everything out.”

“I love every part of you, boss, including how much you care about the Arcanaeum,” Lambert swears. “I would never push you to do anything that would harm it.”

My eyes mist, and my heart swells. “In the end, being impartial didn’t save the Library.”

“Not this time, but it has before,” Jasper says, as he’s forced to let go so Lambert can drag me back into a crushing hug. “It’s the only place in our world that’s truly neutral territory. That’s worth defending.”

“If impartiality is so important, you’ll just have to fall in love with the others as well,” Lambert suggests, shrugging like it’s that simple.

I scoff, then shake my head. “I suppose everyone except North did tick the romantic relationship box. I should’ve predicted this would be a natural result of the contract.”

“North might surprise you,” Lambert adds. “And I know Leo is obviously out of the running right now, but if he’s going to do all of that stuff and get the Arcanaeum back…I say let him try.”