Page 42 of Librarian

I can’t believe he has the gall. The sheer fucking nerve?—

“I won’t come.”

His response, so out of the blue, stuns me.

“Why would that matter?”

“You can use me like I used you. Give me blue balls every night until you’re satisfied. Stars, it’s not my kink, but you can lock me up like Jasper if you need to.”

Orgasm denial might feel like torture, but it isn’t. Not really. He’ll still get the pleasure of touching me, of controlling me. There’s enjoyment to be found in dominance itself; I know because I experience it every time I’m with Jasper and Lambert. What he’s suggesting is not a punishment.

My spine straightens with indignation. Opening the door, I will my posture to loosen as I claw back the apathy that fledthe second I saw the contract. “Even if that wasn’t the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard, and I trusted you enough to do any of those things together, you can’t control a basic bodily function to that degree.”

Galileo looks me straight in the eye, offers me the tiniest twitch of his lip, and raises a brow. “Try me. There’s nothing I won’t do to make this right. Nothing.”

He drops one hand to his grimoire, and the contract floats through the air between us to land on top of the pile in my hands.

“It’s not happening.”

There’s a new note on top of it, longer than the one he wrote before, where he promised not to get in the way of my relationships with the others. I should rip it up in front of him, but my own morbid curiosity won’t let me. I might as well torture myself with whatever twaddle he’s come up with.

He nods, unperturbed. “I expected as much, but I saw how sad you were when I refused to sign it before. It’s not the only way I plan to earn your forgiveness, either.”

It…isn’t?

“I’m going to rectify every single time I hurt you. I made a list. First and foremost, I’m going to get the Arcanaeum back for you. If you want to banish me from it afterwards, I’ll never set foot inside again. My grandfather is pressuring the university to let me take the magister exams next week, too. As parriarch, I’ll ensure that the Library always has Ó Rinn’s support, even long after I’m gone. I’ll keep you safe, even if you never want to see me again. It’s the least I can do.”

I should leave. Instead, I’m frozen as he rattles off a list of impossible dreams.

There’s so much earnestness in his expression that it hurts. He honestly believes that doing those things will repair what he broke. I’d love to think it might. Unfortunately, I’m old enoughand wise enough to know that no one is easier to deceive than a woman who desperately wants to be loved.

What happens when the other ensorcellments aren’t dealt with in a month or two? How much pressure is the rest of his family putting him under to get these done? And how would I even know if he was asking Mathias for help behind my back until it was too late? Last time, I only found out because Pierce caught him.

“I need time,” I hedge.

“You have it,” he promises. “Set whatever boundaries you need to. Anything I have to give is yours. Take the breath from my lungs and the last beats of my heart if you want them. You already own both.”

Stars above, my mouth is dry. I fist one hand in my skirt to stop the tremor running through my frame. The poetry falling from those deceitful lips is unfair. This is ridiculous.He’sridiculous.

It’s a relief when Lambert peels my fingers away from the doorknob.

“I thought I told you to leave her alone.” He delivers the reprimand mildly, then tugs me the last few inches out of the room, plastering me against his chest in a move that screams possessiveness. “So stop harassing her.”

Without me holding it open, the door falls closed. The slam reverberates down the hallway, and I suck in a breath as I fight to regain my composure. I really miss being able to ghost whenever I need to think without all of these emotions playing havoc in my body. Right now, drifting around the Rotunda sounds like the most peaceful thing in the world.

Instead, my paper-thin heart is keening, unaware that taking what Leo offers puts it at risk of being torn to shreds all over again.

With a shudder, I force my attention back to Lambert. “I’m more than capable of dealing with him.”

He doesn’t say anything, simply scoops me up into his arms and buries his face in my hair.

“I can walk.”

“I know, but I need this, boss.” He presses a final kiss to my temple. “The girl I’m in love with keeps almost dying. I think I’m allowed to be a little clingy.”

My body melts, offering the comfort I couldn’t give him at the dinner table with wordless ease.

I half expect him to bring up his aunt, or what her death means for him, but he doesn’t.