Page 130 of Librarian

Sorrow settles heavily into my bones. I can’t make myself voice the words, but my silence is enough confirmation.

“That’s not fair.” Dakari reaches for me, but I evade his embrace. “You haven’t even given us a choice.”

“I’m not really alive. This body was changed and remade by the Arcanaeum. I don’t believe I’m capable of ageing. In the best-case scenario, that’s what you’ll experience. You’ll watch your family die all around you.” I pin North, Leo, and Jasper with a meaningful look. “You’ll be apart from the world. Forever. No more magiball.” Lambert’s shoulders slump. “You won’t be able to travel or start families of your own.”

I’m fairly certain that my magically made body is incapable of bearing children. I’ve had centuries as a ghost to come to terms with that loss. Can they say the same?

I hug my waist as I picture them slowly regretting their choice. Watching the love leave their eyes, their adoration souring into apathy and then contempt.

Is that better or worse than the idea of seeing their descendants walk through the doors? Of seeing a little boy with North’s eyes start his first year at the University, or discovering Lambert’s granddaughter is just as talented at magiball as him?

“You could grow to resent me for it in time. And that’s the best outcome. For all I know, I could be condemning you to join the other librarians. I’d lose you entirely.”

Jasper shakes his head. “You cannae just make that decision for us.”

“I’m not,” I protest. “But you have to understand, I can’t choose who will and won’t be sucked in. It would probably be all of you or none of you. And it might not even work.”

There’s a chance that the Arcanaeum’s consciousness is just gone. Dead. I certainly haven’t felt any stirrings of it since my return.

“And if we all say fuck it?” North prods. “You’d do it?”

My heart cracks. “Perhaps. If the decision was unanimous.”

I don’t believe in dictating their choices, but equally, I don’t know if I could live with the guilt.

“It would make it almost impossible to kill Mathias,” Pierce murmurs. “None of us would be able to leave, and he can’t enter. We’d be abandoning the rest of arcandom to the lich.”

“Exactly.” At least one of them gets it. “So it makes sense to spend our energy where it can be of use: repairing the dagger—if we can—and destroying the phylactery. Unfortunately…both are more complicated than I feared. It’s going to take time.”

Worse. I’m beginning to suspect that the only way to kill a lich is by using the very necromancy that killed them in the first place. At the very least, the spell Mathias employed was definitely dark magic. I’ve never created a runeform like it before. I’ve only had a few hours to work on it so far, but my first attempt at deciphering one from the incantation was…poor.

“So we have to protect them,” Dakari says. “For how long?”

If only I had an answer for him. “I don’t know.”

“Mathias will do anything to get his hands on both.” Pierce shoves away from the altar and begins to pace. “He’s got enforcement in his pocket. They’ll likely come for the Library the moment you reopen.”

“Okay, so we make a plan.” Lambert has more optimism. “We have three families on our side, right? Three parriarchs who will tell enforcement to back off.”

“Isidora is still rector,” Leo points out. “And she’s now Mathias’s flesh puppet. Not to mention, we don’t have the Arcanaeum as backup.”

“I can’t use any of the spells in these grimoires,” I remind him. “I’m not sure I can banish people. Even if I was willing to use the dagger…”

“Can you not just…fake it?” Eddy asks.

“Fake it?” I echo.

Lambert grins. “That could work.”

“Let’s face it, enforcement has got to be pissing themselves at the thought of attacking the Library after what happened lasttime,” North reminds me. “There are seven of us. We could make it look like you’re still capable of the insane magical shit you pulled then.”

“Smoke and mirrors.” Eddy grins. “You don’t need to be flashy when you’ve got a reputation for being a magical badass, an awesome best friend, and the six most powerful arcanists in the world right here.”

It’s not the worst plan in the world, even if there are dozens of things that could go wrong. It doesn’t solve the last problem, however.

“And speaking of reopening…”

“You’ll need to use the dagger to do it.” Leo grimaces. “Which might break it.”