Page 41 of Castle of Refuge

“It will not be allowed.”

Audrey tried to think of an appropriate retort. She did not like anyone telling her what she was not allowed to do. But she could hardly complain. He was protecting her, forbidding her father from forcing her to go back home. If her father filed a formal complaint against Lord Dericott, it could go badly for him, as he had so recently been in trouble with the king’s court.

They traveled in silence until they came to one of Lord Dericott’s guards on horseback. Lord Dericott greeted him and gave him instructions to find as many of the other guards as possible and send them home, for the lost sheep had been found.

She had caused a lot of trouble by running away. But how was she to know that Sir Clement was not coming either to take her back to her father or to force her to marry him? Still, she regretted running away.

The time passed quickly as they made their way to the castle. Lord Dericott was rather talkative. He pointed out different types of trees and flowers, and told her the names of the streams and rivers they crossed. He asked her about the kinds of trees and flowers that grew near the sea and near her home, and they even exchanged a story or two about their childhoods.

“Are you always so calm in dangerous situations?” she asked him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean when you killed that snake. I was terrified and you simply stepped up to it and cut off its head.”

“You would not have been so frightened either if you had a sword in your hand.”

“Perhaps not, if I knew how to use it.” She smiled at him and he smiled back.

“I have been trained to be unflinching in the face of danger. And I think it is part of my temperament to remain calm when others are afraid.”

She stared hard at him, examining his expression for arrogance, but saw no hint of undue pride. He was simply stating a fact he had observed about himself.

“And I have shown that my temperament is flighty and impulsive.” She knew it was true, but why had she said it out loud? Her cheeks grew warm as she felt the sting of her own indictment. She suddenly didn’t like him knowing that about her.

“Impulsive? Do you regret leaving Dericott Castle?”

“I... well, yes. I caused a lot of trouble, and as it turned out, Sir Clement simply wanted to find me and make sure I was safe. And you had to put yourself in danger to save me from that poisonous adder. If I had stayed, all would have been well.”

“But you did not know that. You thought you were protecting yourself.”

He was trying to make her feel better about her foolishness. “Are you always so kind? Do you never scold your servants for wrongdoing?”

“I am a newly appointed landowner and master. I am notaccustomed to scolding anyone. Although I suppose I have scolded a few soldiers in my two years as a guard captain. Besides, you are not my servant anymore. We must find something else to occupy your time.”

“Something suited for someone who is flighty and impulsive, I hope.” She was teasing him while deriding herself, curious as to how he would reply.

“I would not call you flighty or impulsive. You have worked hard—Mistress Wattlesbrook has told me so. And you have other good qualities. You are ever cheerful. You have a smile that others respond to and are drawn to. Anyone might appreciate that, in a servant or a viscount’s daughter.”

Did he mean that? It was true she had always tried very hard to be cheerful. After all, no one wanted to be around a person who was grumpy and frowned all the time, and Audrey had always endeavored to make people like her, perhaps because she felt a lack of love, having no mother to love her, her father and sister so deficient in their esteem of her. She always considered herself rather needy and was embarrassed by it. But Lord Dericott was the first person to notice or appreciate her cheerfulness and desire to please.

Was he also in need of love and esteem? But his new wife would provide that. She hoped so anyway, for his sake.

She could think of nothing to say except, “Thank you.”

Perhaps Lord Dericott liked her cheerfulness because he himself was not the most cheerful person. His usual expression was rather somber. But he seemed a man of steady character, which was part of what made her content to be at Dericott Castle.

As for what he intended for her to do now that he knew she was a viscount’s daughter, she had no idea what he had in mind. Her future seemed a hazy mist, a now-familiar fog, as she wondered if she truly had a grand purpose in life and what it might be.

She only hoped her future did not involve Maris. But she had a strange feeling Maris was not done with her yet.

***

The next day the sun was shining and the sky was beautiful, with several shades of blue and a few woolly white clouds. Audrey was helping Joan hang the sheets on the line when Mistress Wattlesbrook came running toward her—or at least trotting, as she was a bit old and heavy for running.

“You must stop that this moment and come inside with me.” Mistress Wattlesbrook spoke in a breathless voice, which didn’t seem to account for how quietly she seemed to be talking.

“What can the matter be?” Audrey asked.