Page 40 of Castle of Refuge

“I know it is hard to believe. I thought if I could just say the right thing or do the right thing, if I could convince her that I would never do her any harm, that she would stop treating me and other people so badly. But after she tripped me and caused me to fall into the fire, I have been too afraid of her to hope any longer. All I know is that Father has allowed her to come back from the monastery, and I cannot go back there.” Audrey’svoice broke, but she took a deep breath and forced herself into numbness.

Sir Clement said, “Your father told me that he was glad you were marrying so you would be away from your sister.”

Her father was trying to protect her by having her wed Sir Clement. But she did not want to marry Sir Clement. Would he and Lord Dericott think her spoiled and ridiculous for refusing his offer? But she did not care. She wouldn’t marry Sir Clement just to get away from her sister.

“Why did you not tell me who you were?” Lord Dericott had such a compassionate look on his face.

“I did not know if you would allow me to stay if you knew who I was and that I had run away. I thought you would send me back to my father. Besides that, I am a bit ashamed of my fear. I don’t want anyone to think I’m a coward.”

“There is no shame in trying to protect yourself from a dangerous person. And I would not have sent you back there.”

Lord Dericott’s words were like balm to her heart, while his voice made her feel warm and safe—and ignited another feeling that made her uncomfortably aware that Sir Clement was standing there staring at her. The two men, both in appearance and in the feelings they created in her, formed a sharp contrast.

She did owe Sir Clement an explanation, perhaps, for running away and refusing to marry him. It was true, she could marry him and be safe from Maris. And Sir Clement did not seem like a bad person. But there were a few reasons, including the fact that something inside her rebelled at the thought.

Audrey would have been more than glad for her father tomarry off Maris instead of her. But Maris had always pitted herself against Audrey. It seemed she would never stop holding the grudge against her for being the nursemaid’s—and then Father’s—darling.

She faced Sir Clement and took a deep breath. “I am truly sorry, Sir Clement. Please forgive me for not honoring your agreement with my father.” Her cheeks were burning as the two men gave their attention to her. “I am sure you will find a woman who will be very happy to marry you.”

It wasn’t an explanation, but she hoped it helped make amends.

“I have no wish to make anyone unhappy, so you are forgiven, of course.” Sir Clement had a crooked smile as he turned to Lord Dericott. “Well then, I shall go home and see what prospects I can find—a wealthy widow here or a titled spinster there.”

The jest made Audrey feel a bit better—at least Sir Clement wasn’t heartbroken over not getting to marry her. The knight and Lord Dericott exchanged a few more words, then Sir Clement got on his horse and rode away.

Lord Dericott motioned to Audrey. “Come. You can ride my horse back to the castle.”

“I don’t mind walking.”

“You are riding.” It was a command, not a request, so Audrey let him boost her into the saddle.

Of course, she had ridden a horse many times, and she was an accomplished rider. Lord Dericott walked alongside her, and she couldn’t help wondering what had happened to Blackie.

Her heart twisted at not knowing if he was being abusedor taken care of. She could hardly bear to think about it. She imagined her horse had run away from the robbers and was being loved by a nice family.

Would Lord Dericott really tell her father that she was under his protection, letting him know he would not allow her to be sent home against her will? He could easily write to her father and tell him that he could fetch her whenever he wished. But she did not believe Lord Dericott would renege on his word. He’d been nothing but good and gracious to her. It would be easier for him just not to tell her father anything.

“Will you let my father know I am at Dericott Castle?”

“Yes. And I will tell him he must allow you to come home as you wish, when you wish it, and no sooner.”

“So you believe I will decide to go home?”

Lord Dericott did not reply right away. Finally, he said, “No one will force you to leave at all. You may stay at Dericott Castle as long as you like.”

“Thank you.” She was not hurt by the fact that he intended for her to continue working at the castle. He could not very well have a young woman of similar rank and station staying as a guest in his home, unaccompanied by anyone.

“But we must find something for you to do besides clean bedrooms and work in the kitchens.”

“Why?” Audrey gazed down at the young earl, whose manner was so subdued.

“Because you are a viscount’s daughter.”

“But I was a viscount’s daughter before, when you allowed me to work for you.”

“But I did not know you were a viscount’s daughter then. And now I do. And therefore it is unseemly for you to work as a common servant.”

“What if I wish to work as a common servant?”