Page 11 of R&B Mixtape

I kept my feelings locked away because of the way I knew we would end up. He would express to me many times over that he wasn’t meant to be with anyone because of how damaged he was but I had enough bandages to mend him. However, I wasn’t prepared for the rejection that could come from that. So, I kept my distance with that and stayed the friend he always had by his side.

“He’s not your type, Malika, and he don’t like?—”

“Like what, Vee?” she asked giving me a look that said I better watch my mouth, but I wasn’t scared of her or any other woman for that matter.

“Ghetto women,” I said shutting down whatever she thought would happen between them.

I didn’t like how other women found him attractive. In a way, I had become possessive of him. I was in a relationship, but my heart had always belonged to him. He could have his fun and play but it would crush me if he really found someone to be with that wasn’t me.

“Oh, so now I’m ghetto?”

“You’ve been ghetto for quite some time Malika. That’s nothing new. You calm down when it’s necessary but other than that, you’re loud, wild, and?—”

“Me, Vee. I’m me. Let me get back to work before this conversation goes left.”

I wasn’t trying to offend her, but the mention of Prez caused me to briefly look at her as an enemy. I owed her an apology. Stopping her before she could get out of my office, I said those two simple words.

“I’m sorry.” She stopped in her tracks and looked back at me. “I shouldn’t have come at you like that because there’s nothing wrong with who you are. I really am sorry.”

She stood staring at me for a while before she broke and gave me a smile. She was a friend that I valued so I was hoping we could move past it.

“I accept. I’ll see you later.” She left and I was left alone once more.

Releasing a deep breath, I cleaned up the lunch Malika and I were eating to finish up my workday. I was ready to get away from the office and enjoy the weekend that I knew Kase had planned for us. He never short stepped when it came to romancing me and that was the reason I stayed as long as I did.

Kase was a likable pastime for me. I hated to say it, but he was used while I waited to be noticed by Prez. He was a gentleman in every way, but he was also a man that didn’t tolerate nonsense. In a way, I was afraid of losing him as well. I was selfish with both men but being alone was a feeling I hated experiencing.

The day went by as my thoughts were consumed by Prez and what new woman would be introduced this weekend. Kase and I tended to double date with him since it was something Prez and I did since teens. Every time he showed up with someone my heart gained a new crack in it. It wasn’t much more I could take from him switching out women in my face.

Speaking of the devil, a text message came through from him because of the text tone he had. I smiled just from seeing his name. I had yet to open the message and see what he wanted, but he had that effect on me. Prez was my dream guy.

Other Half: I locked in our reservations for tomorrow. I’m bringing the chick from the New Year’s party.

The smile I wore dropped instantly. I didn’t think he would still be dealing with her the way he exchanged women. It low key made me feel some type of way that she was still around because she was lasting longer than any female in his world besides me.

Me: That’s a world record for you isn’t it.

Other Half: Be nice. I’ll see you tomorrow princess.

My smile was back after reading that one word. He’d called me that since we were kids, and it had the same effect on me now as it did then. In my mind, he wanted me just as much as I wanted him, but the way life was set up, it wasn’t our time. He was a drug that I wanted to sample but already received a natural high just from being the woman that was irreplaceable.

I sent off one last email before I gathered my things and walked out of the office. Malika was waiting at the elevators forme, and I was glad that what happened earlier didn’t cause a rift between us. She was my dawg and I loved her for who she was for real. She picked me up on days I felt useless. She was a really good friend that deserved more than what she was given.

“Do you know what Kase has planned?” she asked stepping onto the elevator.

“Nope. He said be ready by seven and that was the only instructions given.”

“Maybe I should let you hook me up with one of his friends because why can’t a nigga come at me with some shit like that?”

“Watch your mouth, Malika. We may be off the clock, but we are still in these people building.”

“We are the only two in here. Who gon’ hear me?”

“That’s not the point. Kase friends are suits and ties just like him. You’ll have to tone down your ways and ease whoever he gets into your… space.” I was having a hard time describing Malika without ghetto being the base.

“Why do I have to change who I am just for a man to like me?”

“That’s not what I’m saying at all friend so don’t take it like that. Some men can’t handle a woman of your nature all at once. They literally have to receive you in pieces.”