Page 88 of Ruthless

“You’re right. We are.” He pushes himself up and yanks me roughly to my feet without releasing my wrists. I cry out at the pain in my arms, but Dante merely marches me down the hallway to the elevator. As soon as we’re in the tight space, I drive my foot back into his knee.

“Cazzo!”

He stumbles backward but recovers before I can blink and shoves my face into the nearest wall. Dante pins me from behind, and with his thighs cradling my hips, I can’t help but notice how perfectly we fit together. On any other day, I might have pushed my backside against him, but right now, only Jeremy matters.

“Every chance you get, you make things harder for me.” My heart squeezes as he fists his hand in my hair and wrenches my head back. “I need you to trust me, just this once.”

I open my mouth to tell him that I do trust him, that I’ve always trusted him, but that’s only partially true. Because if I did, I wouldn’t be so terrified of him abandoning me again. I didn’t realize how much I was still clinging to the past until this very moment.

I can’t trust him to bring Jeremy back safely because I don’t believe with any certainty that he’ll come back to me at all.

My silence must speak volumes because Dante whips me around with his hand still buried in my hair. I capture his wrist, gritting my teeth at the sting in my scalp. His eyes darken and his mouth tightens with fear. The last time I saw him this afraid, he was sitting on the side of his bed, his shoulders rounded as ifwaiting for a blow, his body shaking. Even through that screen in the security room, his terror was tangible.

“I’m trying to keep you safe.” His voice thickens with emotion, and a corresponding lump grows in my throat.

A part of me wants nothing more than to let him tackle this burden alone. To be the one responsible if Jeremy gets hurt, so I can blame someone else.

But those aren’t the words I say.

“She called me that night. My mom. I snuck out to a graduation party I wasn’t allowed to attend, and I didn’t want her to know I’d gone, so I didn’t pick up. She calledthreetimes. If I’d answered…maybe she wouldn’t have gotten in the car to look for me. Maybe she wouldn’t have died. Maybe I could have done something…”

I trail off, my thoughts twisting like a corkscrew. I’ve relived that night a thousand times, desperate to know if I could have altered the outcome.

Understanding softens the hard angles of Dante’s face. I’ve never shared this before, could never bring myself to confront my own guilt, but openness exists between us now, along with a new, fragile path linking our souls.

The elevator comes to a stop and starts to slide open before I reach out and slap a hand over the button to shut the doors again.

A hot rush of tears accompanies the confession. I’ve been practicing this for weeks, but I never get far without breaking down. “But I was scared, Dante. I was so scared, after my mom died and then again after you ghosted me and those men showed up and waved their guns around. I didn’t know what else to do, and I had to take care of Jeremy. Can you understand that?”

First, confusion creases his brow. Then, his eyes widen with horror. “Sara, what…? I don’t understand.”

His fingers brush mine, but I yank my hands away. I need to spit this out before it chokes me.

“Jeremy and I rode a Greyhound to Toledo because I got a job offer there. We lived in a homeless shelter until I could scrape up enough money for a deposit on an apartment, but I never once stopped thinking about you. Even though you lied to me about everything and decided I wasn’t good enough to be a part of your real life. Even though you were seeing other women at the same time. I still don’t understand why you couldn’t just tell me it was over, though. Why vanish from my life and change your number? Did you think I’d stalk you or something?”

My confession comes out frenzied, finally released from the lockbox in my head. Tears paint a trail down my skin.

Dante’s features twist in pain as he cradles my cheeks, refusing to let me hide. “Sara, no. That’s not true. I never showed the slightest interest in another woman while we were together. Yes, I was dishonest about my last name, but that was for your protection. The Council wouldn’t have approved of our relationship, and I wanted to keep you safe. As for the rest, I swear I have no idea what you’re talking about. Please, start from the beginning and tell me what happened.”

His grip tightens in desperation, but I don’t care if I end up with bruises. Blood roars in my ears as I attempt to unravel my tangled thoughts, and hope blossoms in my chest. “I…how can you not know what I’m talking about? I went to meet you at the apartment that night for our date, and you never showed up. I found a photo of you online from a gala from the previous evening, dancing with a beautiful woman in a red dress. The article speculated on your upcoming engagement.”

His eyes squeeze shut. “Fuck.” When he opens them, they practically blaze. “Amanda is just a woman I used as a plus one for public events to misdirect the Council. Amanda’s gay, so she used me to fool her family while she secretly dated anotherwoman. I promise you, there was never anything romantic between us. The only woman I ever truly saw was you.”

The vice releases my ribcage. Everything about the way our relationship ended hurt, but deep down, the images of him in bed with Amanda probably inflicted the most damage. Learning that they were never involved or planning a life together helps soothe the pain that persisted all these years. And I believe him. I can read him better now, and he couldn’t fake such a horrified reaction. Besides, Dante has no reason to lie to me.

“What about ghosting me and changing your number?”

He uses his thumb to clear the dampness from my cheeks. “Sara, that’s the night the men took me. I was locked up in a cell. One of them must have deactivated my cell phone, because once I escaped and returned home, my old account was history, and I had to get a new number. Marco and my father had no idea how that happened.”

Now I’m the one drowning in horror. “That night?” I whisper. “They abducted you that night?” I swallow a deep breath and fight to regain my composure. The burning in my nose and fresh tears prove my lack of success. “I was hurt and angry and cursing ever meeting you, and the whole time, you were being tortured?”

“Don’t. Don’t do that. You didn’t know. How could you? It’s clear that someone went to great lengths to tear us apart.”

“But—”

He places his finger against my lips. “Shh. You were manipulated by a master, and I vanished without a trace. Of course you’d believe I ghosted you. I don’t blame you for that.”

He may not, but I can’t say the same. Guilt continues to compress my chest. “You aren’t mad?”