Page 36 of Expressionate
11
Love
Iknow I'm not thinking clearly. The rain hits my skin, slapping against my arm as we pull into a parking lot I don't recognize. I get out, my eyes scanning the vicinity. Though my vision is a bit blurry, the minuscule lighting in the garden reflects the odd and fantastical statues I see there. I step forward, wandering, not sure if I'm weaving – and not caringeither.
Tax steps up next to me and as our fingers intertwine, I look over. His hand feels too warm, almost burning against my skin. I'm not sure who reached for who first, but it feels right – too right maybe, but it’s mine for now. I focus my attention on the garden of statues again, one inparticular.
It's simple. Two red brick columns and a gray slab of concrete over top. But from that concrete, a steady flow of water comes down and splashes into a shallow pool between the columns. The rain falls faster. Running down my neck and face. I know my makeup is probably smeared. I don't know why Tax is still looking at me with that persistent curiosity of his. It doesn't make any logicalsense.
I pull my fingers away from his. Dropping that warmth in favor of stepping toward the waterfall. I look up at the rain for a moment. I wonder if the waterfall is warmer. Perhaps it’s because of the alcohol in my veins. Perhaps it’s my own insatiable curiosity – something similar, but also different from Tax's – but without thinking about it, without even stopping to consider how crazy it is, I run for it. I take a flying leap and jump through thewaterfall.
It's colder than the rain. Ice cold. Frigid. Running into my shirt and jeans. Soaking my shoes too. When I land on the other side, dripping onto the grass faster than the rain that falls from the darkened clouds above, my lips twitch. How could I have thought the water would be warmer? It's just so ridiculous. Nature is always warmer than whatever humans can create. We’re the waterfall, nature is therain.
Finally, I turn. My mouth hurts from how hard I'm smiling. Tax's eyes watch me. I tilt my head to the side. He makes me think wicked thoughts. I round the side of the columned waterfall and head back in his direction. I want to goagain.
Tax’s predatory midnight eyes sink into my skin. A beacon, drawing me nearer. Before I can get too close, though, I turn again, dashing for the waterfall one more time. He’s so hot, like a fire. His scorching gaze heats me up until steam rises. I need to cool off. The waterfall doesthat.
When I come out on the other side for the second time, I have to stop and take a breath. I’m cold down to my bones, but I know one look over at him and all of my ice will vanish. I pant, my chest rising and falling. If I don’t look back then the cold won’t leave. That thought lasts for all of two seconds before I peek over my shoulder again. The flames return. I wonder, though, with all that dark fire of his, does he need to feel the waterfall too? I hold my hand out to him, enticing. "Your turn," I callacross.
He shakes his head, dislodging the water collecting at the ends of his hair. "Not happening,Lovely!"
I frown, dropping my arm and then put both hands on my hips. "Whynot?"
"It's cold!" So, he knew, Ithink.
I smile again. "So?" Ichallenge.
"You're crazy," hecalls.
I step up to the waterfall again and look down into the shallow pool. I watch him through the steady flow of crystalline water. "Jump," I say, "I'll catchyou."
Tax steps up to the other side. All dark leather pants and white see-through shirt. My mouth waters at the rigid muscles of his abdomen outlined by the slick fabric. How long has it been since I had sex? Since I hadsatisfyingsex? Something tells me that sex with Tax would be more than satisfying. It would be more than any of the boys in high school, any of the friends Danny had sold me to, or even Dannyhimself.
"I don't need you to catch me, Lovely." Tax's voice is deeper, darker. Entrancing. There’s also a yearning there. I’m curious to know what he yearnsfor.
"Then jump anyway," Isay.
"Why?"
I open my mouth, but I don't know why I want to see him jump. I just know that I do. I want to watch him come flying through the wall of water, crashing into my life. It would be fitting to see it physically happen since that's how I feel. Tax has just come crashing into my world, into my life, into my mind. Even when I should be thinking ofanythingelse, he's there. Never, have I ever thought of someone somuch.
"Lovely," he says, "why do you want me tojump?"
I shake my head, taking a step forward again until I'm on the very edge of the pool as I talk through to him. "It doesn't matter," I lie. "I just wanted to see if you would doit."
"Backup."
"What?"
"I said back up." He steps off the ledge, away from the waterfall. "If I come through, I don't want to hityou."
Stunned, I step off the ledge and back away. I watch his form, murky and unclear through the water. The rain – more of a misting drizzle now – is secondary to that waterfall. That waterfall is a barrier, one easy to jump through. Anyone else would have laughed at me, told me I was drunk and then walked around. But not Tax. He backs up several feet before turning to faceme.
Even through the water, I can see his legs stretch out as he takes the running jump. The waterfall hits him, and I hear the quick gasp as he sucks in his breath. It splashes everywhere but I don’t feel it landing on me. I’m already soaked through completely and it was so cold, I don’t think I could possibly feel anything right now. That’s the way I like it…or at least, I usedto.
“God fucking dammit, Love,” Tax hisses through his teeth. He’s bent over, his hands on his knees as he pants. I can’t help but smile when I look at him. His midnight gaze lifts and pierces me. Slowly, Tax stands to his full height and steps forward until his chest brushes against mine. “That was cold as hell,” he says, reaching up to tuck a wet strand of hair behind my ear. “But if I have to jump through a freezing hell to get to you, so beit.”
I’m so shocked by his words, my breath escapes me. I don’t even have a split second to respond before his lips crash down on mine like a tidal wave. The barrier in my mind cracks and everything rushes forward. My skin prickles in awareness, infeeling. I gasp against his mouth, my breath disappearing between hislips.
