Page 95 of The Favorite Sister

I think there’s Tito’s in the freezer.

You definitely need vodka.

Like a hole in the head.That Lauren said that, given the way my sister died not even an hour later, feels like grazing the third rail.

They putter around the kitchen for a while. Looking for snacks. Making fun of the vegan items in Jen’s pantry that she doesn’t even eat anymore. Lauren’s voice grows increasingly garbled, and she’s having trouble keeping track of the conversation. A few times, she asks how long until the cabs get here. Brett corrects her in the beginning but eventually starts playing along. Twenty minutes. An hour.An hour?Lauren mumbles, with attitude.Get your shit together.

A loud crash marks the recording at fifty-seven minutes and thirty-two seconds. My best guess is that someone slammed the freezer door too hard, because they were just discussing how nut milk ice cream isn’t the most disgusting thing in Jen’s freezer. I think some of the platters that were stacked on top of the unit clattered to the ground. One dog barks, and then all three. I cannot believe I slept through this. And now, on my third listen, knowing what happens next, I wonder,Did Jen give me that Xanax on purpose to knock me out? Did she plan to confront Brett when she got home later that night?

Oops.Lauren giggles. After a few beats, there is a noise like rubbing somebody’s back over their shirt. Lauren climbing onto the sofa, just in view of the kitchen.

Don’t get up, Brett says.Really. Just lie there and spoon your Tito’s. I’m fine to clean up your—oh, God. What doyouwant?

Youis Jen.

Go to bed, Jen pleads.For the love of God. You’ve been banging around down here for an hour.

Because we’ve had to, like, rub sticks together to make this pizza, Brett retorts, belligerent and rude. The two of them were never a good match, but that night, they were aluminum and bromine in a gas jar.I mean, Brett says,that shitty meat you’re eating from FreshDirect is more likely to give you cancer than a microwave.

Bretttt, Lauren croaks from the couch, in some half-hearted attempt to defend Jen, lapsing into a convoluted rendition—You’re a bitch, you’re a child, you’re a sinner and a mother...

Brett continues to open cupboard doors and drawers. The tape here is cluttered with the sound of utensils rattling, plates clinking into one another. I think, even as drunk as she was, that she was pretending to stay busy to avoid meeting Jen’s eye. I think she knew she had gone too far by saying that in front of Lauren. Not like either of them had to worry about Lauren remembering in the morning. She barely seems to remember what happened next.

I thought you’d like to know that I’ve crafted a statement with my PR team about my decision to step away from veganism, Jen tells Brett, eloquently. At this point in the tape, I have become so inured to Brett and Lauren’s slurring that Jen, speaking clearly and reasonably, is the one who makes me sit up and take note.Green Theory has and always will be about promoting what works best for your individual body, and shedding labels is truly a healthy step forward for all women. I have a good feeling about this. I’ve built a strong community and I have confidence they will support me, and by disassociating from veganism, my team believes I will attract a whole new customer base.

I know you’re talking, Brett says,but all I hear is this.She’smisquoting Emily Blunt inThe Devil Wears Prada, making a closed beak gesture with her hand, I have no doubt.

I am talking, Jen snaps. She’s mad now. Brett embarrassed her. I know what it’s like to share something with Brett that you’ve put a lot of thought and effort into, and for the Big Chill to make you feel like a complete nerd for trying so hard.I’m telling you this for two reasons. One, because I’m no longer going to allow you to lord it over me, and two, I thought you might want to take a cue from me Prepare your own statement. Get ready for the ensuing shitstorm when everyone finds out that you slept with Vince.

Thudding silence. Whatever Brett was doing in the kitchen, she’s stopped.

Vince is foineeeee, Lauren says through a yawn.

Your sister told me, Jen says, probably in response to the stunned look on Brett’s face.That’s bad, Brett. Not just what you did and what you’ve lied about, but that your own sister is so done with you that she sold you down the river. You’re going to have no one, after this is over. You think Jesse will stand by your side after this? I know Yvette won’t. See, she might not always like me, but she will always love me. The same cannot be true of some girl she met three years ago.

Yvette.Ugh. Why did Jen have to bring up Yvette? Yvette was Brett’s do-over. She made Brett feel worthy of a mother’s love. Of all that Brett stood to lose if the truth came out, I believe she would have felt Yvette the hardest.

Brett makes a dismissive noise that just barely masks her full-blown panic.Tell me, did you work with your PR team to craft a statement about the year you spent fucking Vince?

Jen and Vince?!I scream-thought on the first listen.

Jen and Vince?On the second.

Jen and Vince.On the third, I remembered Brett trying to talk to me before we set out for the mountains in Morocco. Something about Jen. I had brushed her off. No. I hadn’t just brushed her off. I had screamed at her that I never wanted to hear another bad word about Jen again. I was just so sick of feeling like she didn’t have myback and also that she was set on sabotaging my relationship with the one person who did. Would things have been different if I knew?

Would I want them to be?

Vince is not my best friend’s husband, Jen says, cool as a cucumber, almost as if she was prepared for Brett to bring up the dalliance.That was yourbest friend. She was good to you. Shelovedyou. And you shit all over her. Think about it, Brett. Women are going to hate you when they find out.

Brett does seem to think about it. Then she laughs defiantly.Was he your first or something, Greenberg? You are TOTALLY still writing Mrs. Jen DeMarco in your diary, aren’t you? You know I broke it off with him, right? You know he kept pursuing me, even after I got engaged? He is capital O Obbbbbb-sessed with me. That must killllll you. You got yourself a little makeover with your new boobies and your long hair and you thought you were gonna sweep in and win yo man back.Brett gasps, theatrically.Oh my God, look at your face! You did think that. You did. You thought you were going to show Vince what he was missing and instead, he only had eyes for my fat ass. See. This is what you have never understood. Actually, I think you do understand it, and that’s why you hate me. Nobody likes you, Greenberg. You are boring. Being thin is your full-time job and your hobby. Being thin is all you have to offer anyone, because you havenocharisma,nosex appeal,noguts. Of course Vince would rather fuck me over a lonely bag of bones in an Ulla Johnson dress and your mother would still rather I was her daughter. Aw, are you going to cry? You know, I’ve never actually seen you cry. Do you cry, like, green kale smoothie tears?

I held my breath here, on the first listen, because I was so sure this was when it would happen. I would have understood, on some level, if Jen had snapped after an evisceration like that. It was so mean. It was so cruel. It was so true. But somehow, it manages to get worse.

Because Jen, from what I can gather, turned away. She didn’t engage. She didn’t give Brett the reaction she was looking for.

Jen, Brett hisses, trying to call her back.Jen. Stop. Jen!And then, I hear Brett’s fast feet on the limestone flooring, that unyielding flooring, and Jen’s grunt. Brett went after Jen.Brettstarted it.

Lauren snores lightly as Brett and Jen tangle on the floor, groaning, breathing hard, trading curses. They kept their voices down for a reason: they didn’t want to be stopped.