Page 94 of The Favorite Sister

About all of us! How everything is made up. How we made up our fight and you and Jen went along with it.Stephanie didn’t actually mention Jen or Lauren by name, but this was Brett, recruiting allies.Just really bad stuff. It makes us look so thirsty. Oh. And then. She fucked a teenager behind the side of the bar. I’m not kidding when I say teenager. I would be SHOCKED if he was legal.

She was trying to make you jealous.

Why would she—Brett stops. She forgot her own impending storyline.The point is. Jesse needs to know before tomorrow. She can’tbe allowed to go to the brunch. She’s totally unhinged and I don’t want her spouting off lies about me on camera.

Just tell Lisa.

Lisa won’t give a fuck. She would one hundred percent support anything bad Steph says about me. Talk about jealousy. You know Lisa is jealous of me.

Lauren’s pause is incredulous.

Don’t roll your eyes. You know it’s true.

I’m hungry.

Your boob is still out.

It sounds like Lauren throws off the covers.Come on. If I’m hungry I know you’re hungry.

I saw frozen pizza in the garage, Brett says.And seriously, put it away. I’m so sick of boobs.

I hear a pucker, the noise a fridge makes when it suctions away from the frame. Then my sister’s sarcasm,More wine is what you need.

My hair looks like Kate Gosselin’s.

Four million people used to watchJon & Kate Plus Eight. Show some goddamn respect.

Make the pepperoni one.

I thought you weren’t eating bread right now.

Pizza isn’t bread.

Cabinets open: searching for a plate on which to nuke the pizza, maybe.Wait. Holy shit,Brett says. Does she not have a microwave?

Infrared light and cancer cells. Blah blah.

I can’t.

I know.

The silence stretches. Initially I thought that maybe Brett was trying to figure out how to turn on the oven, but on subsequentlistens, I think she was debating whether or not to say what she said next.You know it’s not real. Her whole vegan shtick. She eats meat.

Lauren snorts.And I’m the one who sent thePostthat video of me blowing the baguette at Balthazar.

I’m being serious.

Glugging. Lauren already on to glass two, maybe?I am too.

Lauren.Brett is astounded.Jesus.

Whatever. It worked, right? I got another season. I got to pretend to accuse each of you of doing it and have a reason to fight with you.

But you had to step down as CEO.

It was going to happen anyway.

Brett says,Damn, girl, which is rich, given her own duplicity.What are you doing?