Page 90 of The Only Seconds that Matter
“What good—”
“I’m pregnant!”Skyler exclaimed with glee.
“Oh.Oh!Wow, congratulations.That’s great.”
“I really thought it’d never happen.I’m trying to avoid stress now, and I don’t even think I should ride.I know plenty of pregnant women do, but I just don’t want to take any chances, you know?”
“Whatever works for you.”
“You willing to fly out here for my baby shower?”
“Sure, if you want me to.”
“You have no clue how happy I am right now.I’ve been trying forever, Victor.Ever since Liam and I got married.I was this close to giving up.You know I’m not that religious, but maybe someone’s looking out for me.”
“There’s always the possibility.”
Skyler spent a few more minutes gushing about her pregnancy, with Victor just listening and offering an occasional affirmative comment.Hewashappy for her because he’d seen the pain in her eyes when she talked about her infertility problems.
At the same time, there was this little jealous demon squatting at the bottom of his stomach.He’d rather it not be there, because even though he transitioned over a decade ago, he still hadn’t worked out his complicated feelings about wanting children.The thought of being pregnant did not elicit joy—but being a father certainly did.Maybe his dream with Diego never worked out, but there were parts of it he still carried with him.Sometimes he scoped out cute ponies at auction, daydreaming about having a child who needed one.He had detailed fantasies about taking his kid to horse shows, cheering them on from the stands, stringing up their ribbons with pride.He knew Skyler probably dreamed the same thing, except now she was ahead of him, both by being married and now by being pregnant.Meanwhile, Victor’s fantasies felt no closer than they’d been ten years ago.
“Anyway, enough about me.What’s up with you?”Skyler asked.
“Ah, nothing new, really.”
“No?You still friends with Johnny?”
“Yeah.Why?”
“Last time we talked it sounded like there might be something there.”
“Oh.Well, yeah but… it’s complicated.Johnny wants a friends-with-benefits situation, and I don’t.”
“What’s wrong with friends-with-benefits?I know it’s probably not what you want, but it’s something, right?”
“Because I like him too much.I know it’ll end badly if we go down that road.”
“Aw, Victor.That sucks.Maybe someone better will show up.Or maybe Johnny will change his mind.”
“Yeah, maybe.”Victor picked at the peeling vinyl on the arm rest of his desk chair.“Or maybe I’ll just die alone.”
“Move back to California and you can die with me.”
Victor laughed.Skyler always knew what to say to make him feel a little better.“I’ll keep that in mind.”
His phone vibrated in his hand with a text and he flicked out of the call interface to read it.It was a text from Johnny.
U ever watch Brokeback Mountain?
Victor sighed.“Anyway, Skyler, I should probably get back to the grind.But keep me updated on the baby situation.I’d love to come to your baby shower.I’m really happy for you.”
They said their good-byes and Victor leaned back in the chair to text Johnny back.Long time ago.Why?
Johnny’s reply was quick.Sarah told me I should watch it.
Was that a coincidence or was Sarah attempting to meddle in their relationship?If so, Victor would have to thank her for the effort.It’s really good.But also depressing.
I don’t watch a lot of gay movies cuz they’re all about twinks in New York or LA.
