Page 59 of The Only Seconds that Matter
Johnny didn’t reply, at least not immediately.He glanced sheepishly down at his lap, avoiding Victor’s gaze.“Thanks for letting me sleep over, considering you’re all mad at me.”
“I’m not mad at you.”
“Even now?”
“Especially not now.”Victor went to the porch bench and sank down beside Johnny.“I guess you know you have a problem, and I don’t have to tell you that.How long has it been like this?”
Johnny rubbed his face with exhaustion.“Since I got out of rehab, I guess.I had lots of friends back then, but…” He shrugged.“They stopped checkin’ in.So I drank.Lost control.I couldn’t keep up with it, and eventually I just gave up tryin’ to be civilized.I ain’t proud of it.I’ll probably never feel lower than I feel right now.I would have given anything not to have you see that shit.”
“I’m glad I did.Because I’m ready to help.”
“Help how?”
“I can help you clean it up.”
“And then what?”
“That’s up to you.I knew you drank a lot, I just didn’t realize the extent.I think that’s the core issue.If you can stop drinking, the mess might fix itself.”
“Ah, well, just like that then.”
“I’m not gonna bullshit you.”
Johnny hung his head, defeated.“I’ve wanted to get sober for a while.But I’m not very good at stickin’ with it.”
“Have you tried going to AA meetings or anything?”
“Alcoholics Anonymous?”Johnny snorted.“Buncha Jesus freaks.”
“Sure, but I think social support could really help you out.”
Johnny fiddled with the zipper of his jacket for a few seconds, mulling it over.“I’ll admit, I don’t like asking for help.”
“Really?I had no idea.”
The first ghost of a smile touched Johnny’s lips.“People have a way of disappointing me.”
“I could say the same of you.”Victor raised an eyebrow.He reached up to grasp Johnny’s opposite shoulder, squeezing it.“I know you’re capable.You were one of the country’s best bronc riders.If you can do that, this should be easy.”
Johnny made a huffing sound of begrudging agreement.Then he rested his head against Victor’s with a sigh.Victor would have loved to plant a kiss on his forehead and draw him into an embrace, but for now, they were only friends again.It didn’t feel as good as what Victor really wanted, but it was enough to make the mountain in front of them seem climbable.
CHAPTER 17
If Victor was the only one tasked with helping Johnny clean out the trailer, it’d take months to get it up to code.The job was bigger than just two people, so Victor asked Johnny who else he might feel comfortable assisting them.At first Johnny was extremely recalcitrant, insisting no one could know.But when several hours of labor resulted in very little progress, Johnny caved and decided Sarah and his sister could be told.However, he dragged his feet on telling them, and he’d crashed several days in Victor’s spare bedroom before Victor was able to badger him enough to actuallydoit.
“I told them to stop by my place tomorrow,” Johnny muttered to his plate as he and Victor ate dinner.Johnny didn’t know a thing about cooking, so it had been up to Victor make something.Thankfully Johnny wasn’t a picky eater, and he ate pretty much anything Victor put in front of him, and he was happy to clean up afterward.
“Who?”
“Sarah and Kayla.”
“Well, that’s good, I suppose.With their help we can probably get the place cleaned out entirely.Then we can get a roofer in to fix that leak.”
Johnny nodded sullenly, still staring at his plate.His mood had been dark ever since he swore off drinking.Victor was lucky in that they both had separate jobs, so they didn’t come across each other much except around dinner time.He was at least happy to see that Johnny wasn’t drinking, and the room he was staying in remained clean.Johnny even made the bed before he left for work in the morning.
“Are you afraid they’ll be mad at you?”Victor asked.
Johnny didn’t reply immediately, instead pushing his pasta from one side of his plate to the other with a fork.Finally, he said, “My sister will be.”
