Page 17 of Hold Back
“This isn’t Kansas anymore,” he whispered.
Kit wanted his world back to the way it was. Before ex-boyfriends decided to shoot up clubs and he was threatened because his brother had upset dangerous people. He leaned against the sink, letting his head drop down between his shoulder blades.
The soft knock at the door made him jump.
“Kit, are you all right?”
“No, I’m not,” he whispered, knowing Red wouldn’t be able to hear him.
The rap was sharper this time. “Kit?”
Boy. He wanted Red to call him his boy. But that was never going to happen because Red didn’t want to have a boy.
I could make him my Daddy.
Kit looked at the frightened boy in the mirror and hated it. What did his dad used to say?
“Fake it ‘til you make it, son. Don’t let anyone see you scared or crying. You’re a man. Act like one.”
He’d been about ten and just realizing he was not like other boys. He guessed his dad had realized he wasn’t like other boys too, but he’d never had the conversation with his dad about being gay. He was ten for God’s sake. He couldn’t even put into words what was different about him. His parents had died not long after, which left him in the care of his brother. Tony couldn’t give a toss whether Kit fucked men or women as long as he didn’t throw them down on the club floor in front of the guys. Kit screwed his face up.
I mean, ew! I have standards.
But his traitorous mind had to make a point.
You’d let Red fuck you anywhere he asked.
And he would, because it was Red. The crush was very real.
“I’m coming in,” Red snapped, and flung the door open. “Why are you taking so long?”
Kit locked eyes with him in the mirror. There was no way he was about to turn around. He was half-hard, just looking at the gorgeous Daddy in the glass. He opened his mouth to yell, to scream at him. Anything to break the tension between them. Then he caught it. That glint in Red’s eyes for a second before it was replaced by a mask of boredom.
What did that mean? He had to find out. Maybe Red wasn’t as indifferent as he appeared. Kit stared at Red who returned it with a level gaze. And inside he gloried in that one glimmer of emotion.
Red stepped away from the door. “Come on. Even if you don’t need to sleep, kid, I do. I’m an old man, remember?”
“Kit, not kid,” Kit insisted.
“I’ll try to remember,” Red drawled.
“Give me a couple of minutes.” Kit did need to clean his teeth and wipe off the last traces of mascara.
Red gave a curt nod and backed out of the bathroom.
This time Kit went through his usual nightly routine. He kept everything he needed here and at the condo. He rubbed at the bristles on his chin. No, they could wait until morning. He didn’t want to upset Red any further by taking more time.
Back in the bedroom, Red was on the phone. He glanced at Kit, smiled briefly, then returned to his conversation.
“No, I’ll stay here tonight. Padraig and Jace for the rides. Doug and Ronan as back up. I know those four. Yeah, I know that too. You can pick a third team only if I agree with them. Are you sure Blue isn’t available?” Red growled in the back of his throat. “Not Quinn Ryder…because his boy would put a hit out on me if anything happened. Same goes for Mo. Yes, he’s damn scary.”
Kit pretended not to listen to the conversation as he climbed into bed, but he wondered who these people were. Red couldn’t be scared of anyone, surely.
Red disconnected the call and looked over. “I’m organizing your protection detail.”
“What’s with the colors. Blue, Red. Is there a White?”
Red gave an unexpected smile. “There is. Skip White. He still works for Monaghan’s.”
