Page 32 of Once a Rogue
“Well, we’re friendsnow, at least so far as anyone would consider me that. At the time, I also clearly owed him and Rory a very large apology.”
“For what?”
Wesley stopped at the edge of the walkway, just before the park’s end. He turned toward Sebastian, strikingly handsome framed against the autumn leaves in his long wool coat and old-fashioned high collar. Everywhere else Sebastian looked, he saw ghosts of his last trip to New York, but when his gaze fell on Wesley, it was enough to quiet the worst of his memories.
“What do you mean,for what?” said Wesley. “I put my lips where they didn’t belong anymore and upset Rory enough he apparently cracked a ceiling. And I’m fairly certain that wasbeforeI showed up at his shop and tried to bribe him to leave Arthur. You know the story.”
Sebastian blinked.
“Oh no.” Wesley pinched the bridge of his nose with the hand not holding his walking stick. “You don’t know this either.”
“Know what?”
“If I have to talk about it, I need a cigarette.” Wesley was already digging out his pack. “The day you kidnapped Rory Brodigan out of his antiques shop, you already know I was there, in the back room. Have you never wondered why a viscount from London was in a Hell’s Kitchen antiques shop in the first place?”
Sebastian furrowed his brow. “No, I hadn’t,” he said slowly. “But why—”
His eyes widened.
Wesley had come to New York to win back an ex-lover and discovered they had found someone else.
“Arthuris your ex?”
Wesley winced so hard he almost dropped his cigarette.
“I held your ex-boyfriend at gunpoint and you didn’ttellme?”
“I assumed you knew!” Wesley lit the match, blue-and-red fire against the deepening night. “Everything in your world has been new to me since the night you saved my life in London. It didn’t occur to me there could be something you didn’t know.”
This was so much worse than some nameless, faceless man. “I tried to call Arthur today!” Sebastian said. “Was I going to see him again and not know you sailed across the entire ocean for him?”
Oh, Sebastian hadn’t meant to blurt that out, to put his insecurity out there like a Times Square billboard.
But Wesley inhaled and quickly shook his head. “It wasn’t like that.” He blew the smoke back out in a hard stream. “I told you, I was chasing convenience, not passion. Arthur was handsome, and he fit conveniently into my life without me having to change. I’m a shallow prick who thought that was enough.”
“You always find the worst way to see yourself,” Sebastian said heatedly. “Arthur is very handsome, yes, but he is also brave and kind. He helped my family get our siphon back and forgave me for everything when he didn’t have to.”
“You truly don’t have to extol the virtues of my ex-lover,” Wesley muttered.
“But that’s my point,” Sebastian said. “Arthur is worth sailing an ocean for. Have you never stopped to think that maybe you’re not shallow? That maybe you didn’t just want him back because he’s handsome, but because you knew what a good person he was?”
Wesley stared at him. And then, incongruously, he began to smile.
“What?” Sebastian said defensively.
“You, that’s what.” Wesley was shaking his head, smile still in place. “I just told you a story where my every action was thoroughly reprehensible, and yet you’re still trying to find a way to see it where I’m not a complete lout.”
“Because you’renot,” Sebastian said. “You think I could stand being back in New York if I didn’t have you?”
Wesley opened his mouth, then closed it.
“Is that somethingyoudon’t know?” Sebastian swallowed. “You only see bad things when you look at yourself, but they aren’t true, Wes. I know they’re not true, better than anyone else.”
Wesley had a funny, almost lost expression on his face. He put the cigarette back to his lips with an unsteady hand. “You should ask me sometime what I see when I look at you.”
“You don’t see a man as handsome as Arthur, that’s for sure,” Sebastian muttered, before he could stop himself.
Wesley raised an eyebrow. “You cannot possibly be jealous.”
