Page 13 of The Treasure
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"Is he here?" Selene strode up the gangplank of the Last Hope.
Kadar's first mate, Patrick, nodded. "In the cabin, Lady Selene. May I take a message?"
Relief poured through her. She hadn't been sure she would find him on the ship. "I'll tell him myself." She moved quickly toward the door leading to the cabin. She knew her way well. She remembered the first time she had come on board the Last Hope. She had been ten and three and Kadar had just come back from a voyage. She had been frantically eager to see him but had carefully hidden it. She had always been afraid to let Kadar know how he dominated her thoughts. Not that it did any good. Kadar always seemed to sense what she was feeling even when no one else did.
She paused at the door. What if he had a woman with him? Well, what if he did? She had not come this far to go back to the castle. He would have to send the wench away.
She threw open the door. No woman, she saw with relief. Kadar sat across the room at his desk, a journal open before him.
She slammed the door behind her. "Why have you been ignoring me?"
He leaned back in the chair. "You shouldn't be here."
"I tried to speak to you twice at supper tonight and you acted as if you scarce knew me."
He looked away from her. "Does Ware know you're here at this time of night?"
"No one knows. But what if he did? No one would believe anything amiss. Not of you."
He stood up. "I'll take you back to the castle."
"No." She moistened her lips. "Not yet. I have something to say to you."
"You can tell me tomorrow. I'll come back to the castle before the noon hour and you can--"
"No." She shook her head. "Why are you being like this? We both know that I'm not like those other women in this land. I care nothing for what these Scots deem proper. Do you think I don't know that they'd shun me like a leper if they knew about the House of Nicholas? The lords and ladies in their great castles treat me with kindness only because Ware is a warrior and a strong ally."
"Not entirely." He smiled teasingly. "I've heard them say you have bonny bright hair and a sweet smile."
A little of the tension seemed to be leaving him, and she must take advantage of any weakness. "I need to talk to you." She moved forward until she stood before him. "You've never refused me before."
His smile disappeared. "There's always a first time."
"Well, you can't start now. I won't have it." Her hands clenched nervously. "This is too important."
"That's why I have to refuse you."
"It makes no sense."
"Go back to the castle, Selene."
She laid her head on his chest. "Don't do this."
His muscles became rigid.
"This is so hard for me," she whispered. "You've got to let me tell you."
"Oh, God."
His heart was pounding hard beneath her ear. "You want me to trust you? I'll try. No, I do trust you." She rubbed her face against his chest, struggling to get the next words out. "I . . . care for you, Kadar. I've always cared for you. I think I always will."
"Not now, Selene," he said hoarsely.
"It has to be now. I don't know if I'll have the courage again." She was shaking, she realized. "When I was a little girl, everyone always left me--Mama, Thea--and I saw how men always left Nicholas's women after . . . It . . . frightened me."
"I know."
