Page 36 of All She Ever Wanted Was a Real One
“It’s been two weeks, and I still haven’t given him an answer.”
“And why is that?”
My shoulders rose and fell. “I don’t know. It’s like, after certain situations, you just don’t feel the same about a person anymore no matter how hard you try, y’know?”
Oak sucked his pearly whites. “Bullshit, Lex. You know exactly why you haven’t given that nigga an answer. It’s the same reason you just said you don’t feel the same way about him.”
I let out a long sigh before nodding slightly. “It’s because there’s something in my gut that still doesn’t trust him. And I can’t marry someone I don’t trust, right? That would be doing a disservice to both of us.”
“Still don’t believe it wasn’t him on that voicemail?”
I swung my head. “No. And he wants me to sweep it under the rug and get back to business as usual.”
“You see what you said there?”
“What?”
“Just from that statement, I already know what type of nigga you dealin’ with, Lex.”
“What do you mean?”
“I bet you he hasn’t asked you how he can earn your trust back. That nigga’s probably been on yo’ line whining about how long it’s gonna take you to get over how badly he fucked up. Am I right?”
My brows heightened in genuine surprise that he’d hit the nail on the head within seconds. “Wow. How do you know so much about relationships, and yet, I’ve never heard of you being in one?”
“It’s not about how many relationships I’ve had. It’s about being a grown-ass man who knows right from wrong. A man who has control. A man who knows what he wants and ain’t afraid to go get that. When a real nigga wants you, he’ll go to the moon and back for you, Lex. He’ll make it clear that he loves you and be able to list every reason, even the stupid ones that don’t even seem worth mentioning. You gotta build with a nigga who wants it to work just as much as you do and will do whatever he needs to do to keep you in his corner. Any real nigga knows that.”
My heart gave a kick, my feelings for him stronger than ever in that moment as my ears seemed to hang on to his every word. It was as if he was peeking through the blind of my soul and saying everything I wanted to hear.
There was a question burning on my tongue. “Do you ever think about what life would be like for us if things were . . . y’know, different?”
He tipped his chin. “I think about it a lot—what my family would say, what our first date would look like. All that shit. If I was able to touch you the way I wanted to in public, I’d never let yo’ pretty ass go.”
His honesty was refreshing and overwhelming at the same time. Who knew our moonlit conversation would be a low-key therapy session? I felt validated knowing I wasn’t the only one harboring feelings I couldn’t act on. At least not the way I wanted to. I grew up on Brandy. I knew almost didn’t count. And our almosts and what-ifs had haunted the back of my mind for years.
“I don’t think I’d want you to,” I admitted.
Oak and I were something and nothing and right and wrong at the same time, and I was homesick for his tatted arms.
“This shit is so crazy.”
“What is?” he queried.
I glanced at him quickly before darting my gaze away. “You don’t know what you do to me.”
“Then why don’t you tell me?”
“I’m usually a Type A personality, but around you, I’m Type F.”
“And the F stands for?”
“Fucking eighteen again,” I admitted.
His cocoa-brown gaze matched the fire blazing inside me as he looked at me. “I knew what it was back then when I left. We both did. We agreed, Lex. But just because I had to leave you didn’t mean I wanted to.”
“You coming back after all these years was the biggest plot twist of my life,” I confessed, nervously sweeping a few curls behind my ear.
“And I don’t plan on going anywhere,” he confirmed.
