Page 35 of All She Ever Wanted Was a Real One
“Why you actin’ so weird around a nigga, Lex? You ain’t gotta be nervous. I know you know how to share.”
“Because I can’t think when you’re . . . this close to me.”
He continued to tug at the blanket. “Sounds like a you problem to me, and it’s chilly out this mothafucka.”
I sucked my teeth. “Shut up.”
His shoulders rose and fell. “I’m just saying. Maybe if you weren’t trying so hard not to think about a nigga, you could think straight.”
“What makes you think I’m thinking about you?” I asked, finally sharing my blanket.
“So you haven’t been?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Good, because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that pussy since . . .”
“Shh! Oak!” I hissed, although his voice hadn’t been loud. “Are you crazy? Shut up.”
“I don’t give a fuck. We’re the only ones out here. I could scream it into the woods if I wanted to. Everybody’s asleep anyway.”
“Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”
“Nah, I wouldn’t do that. I know you got a lot of shit goin’ on already. Hence, your nervous breakdown and all.”
I scoffed. “That’s an understatement.”
“You wanna talk about that nigga, or you wanna skip to the good part and let me beat him up?” he offered.
His generosity made me chuckle. “Thanks. I needed that laugh.”
“Anytime.”
“Can I ask you something?” I inquired.
“Sup?”
“What is it about me that you’re attracted to?”
His brows slightly bent inward. “What do you mean?”
“I need to know what makes me lovable and not just attractive,” I explained, baring my insecurities to him as we shared the blanket under the moonlight.
“Maybe I’m not the one you need to be asking that question.”
“Why not?”
“Because everything about you feels like home to me. And someone as rare as you? A nigga can’t treat you like you regular. You are, without a doubt, worth more than gold, Alexis Rosewood. And if the nigga you with don’t know that by now, you need to find you a new one.”
His words made me understand what I looked like in his eyes—something the man I was supposed to be marrying never had the power to do.My mind and heart had been at war for a while, fighting to be the center of attention. But the one thing they werein agreement about was that I was sick of Pat and his reindeer games.
“Wow. I-I don’t know what to say. I mean, that’s what I’ve always wanted, for someone to see me and be sure about me, especially when we’re supposed to be getting married.”
“Is that what brought all this on?”
“He asked if I wanted to cancel the wedding,” I admitted.
“Do you?”
