Page 13 of Bound By Love
I've been up for so long I've become a little bleary-eyed. Though that could be because yesterday I had to relive all the horrible shit that happened. I needed to write that statement. No matter how uncomfortable it was for me and will likely send me spiraling for a while, if sharing my story can help save someone else's life, I'm glad I did it.
"I couldn't sleep," Riot murmurs. I watch feeling awkward as he tips his head back to stare at the dimly lit ceiling. "Is there a lot on your mind too?"
Well, I'm thinking about what happens next. Like how do we move on because I don't want this to make things harder on my brain or my pack. I've also been thinking about Riot and it seems he's been thinking about me.
My hindbrain wiggles happily like I'm excited to have his attention.He could just be wondering why I'm so damn complicated, I remind myself. Me being on his mind isn't necessarily a good thing.
I can practically feel his judgment of me and my pack. Almost like this connection we have forces me to acknowledge the side eye he's giving us.
"Want to tell me what's on your mind?"
He may only have one working eye right now, but just that half stare is so intense I blush and shrug.
"No, don't do that. We're past you shutting me out, Vivian. Talk to me, please."
Sighing, I pluck at the crappy hospital blanket. "Please stop, Riot," I whisper and swallow thickly.
He's quiet for a few minutes before he switches gears. "You're safe now. Your pack will do everything to keep you safe, right?"
I nod. No doubt about it.
Riot doesn't move or look away. "Then what's keeping you up?" I shake my head, really not wanting to talk about it. "It would be good to talk about your fears. Especially after everything you've been through."
My chest expands, and it feels like my heart cracks open on my exhale. EverythingI'vebeen through, as if the hell we survived didn't affect him like it did me. As if meeting me and sharing a moment together didn't matter...
"Nightmares?" Riot guesses nonchalantly, as if he doesn't care that he's asking me to lay out all my vulnerabilities to him. The space between our beds reminds me of the barrier of our cells, providing some normalcy for our dynamic.
I can feel my throat tightening the deeper he tries to pry. My anxiety has cut off my words, sparing me the embarrassment of sharing my feelings.
My silence gets him moving. Grunting, he sits upright and turns so his legs hang off the bed. "I need to know you'll be okay before I'm on my way."
My shattered heart slices through the chains holding my voice captive. "What?" I croak. It feels like my heart seizes in my chest, and my omega whimpers in my head.He's leaving?
He frowns. "I have to get back to work."
Right.I don't even know what he does for work, so why in the hell does everything in me flinch at his words? But I want him to stay. I didn't let him go just for him to run away from me.
"Someone needs to hunt those bastards down for what they did to you, Vivian. I can do that. I've been doing shit like this for a long time."
But that's not what I want.
A low growl from him makes me shiver, then he says some stupid shit that pisses me off. "Why are you crying, Vivian? What did I say?"
My hands ball into fists as my temper flares.How is he so fucking clueless? Is this how everyone is? Am I spoiled with mates who can read me better than themselves? Yes, but fucking hell this man is infuriating.
"You kissed me, Riot," I hiss.
Riot stiffens and glances around at my sleeping men like they'll jump up and tear into him. "That shouldn't have happened, Vivian. I'm sorry. You have a pack. It was wrong for me to do that without their permission."
"Bullshit!" I snap, my disapproval of his brush off hiding my sorrow.He's rejecting me.
Riot's jaw clenches. Is he trying to figure out the easiest way to break my heart? "Little Omega..." Why does he sound so pained when it clearly doesn't matter to him like it does to me? "Can't you see that I disrespected your men and your bond by kissing you?"
"We'rebonded," I insist, slamming my fist against my chest. "Can't you feel it?"
He inhales, and I just know what's about to come out of his mouth. Here comes the mansplaining. "What you feel is a trauma bond. You want me because I was there during the worst few days of your life. If your mates knew that I took advantage of you?—"
"Took advantage of me?!" I screech, climbing onto my knees.
