Page 111 of Saint Céline
Wendy leaned slightly toward me while Dr. Patel wrote something on the board. “Are you okay?” she whispered.
Christina heard it.
So I smiled. My smile was warm and effortless.
“I’m fine.”
Wendy did not believe me, but she accepted the performance I had perfected over the years. Only Katherine, Vincent, Sophia, and Anya seemed immune to it. Christina, unfortunately, seemed to be making the list too.
“Rough morning?” she asked, just softly enough that Dr. Patel could ignore it if she wanted to.
I looked down at the sample tray in front of me and picked up a marker.
“Not particularly.”
“Could’ve fooled me.” Her gaze touched my mouth again, then dropped meaningfully to my skirt.
Wendy inhaled sharply and looked like she wanted to evaporate.
My fingers tightened around the marker. There were several things I could have said. I could have cut her down cleanly. I knew exactly where to press. Christina’s insecurity sat on her like cheap perfume, pungent and unmistakable. I could have smiled and asked whether she had finished the reading yet, or whether she wanted Professor Moreau to explain that privately too. I could have made the room laugh against her.
Instead, I thought of Katherine sitting at my mother’s kitchen table, red pen in hand, saying you’re stupid when you’re lazy and looking stricken the moment my mother heard. Cruelty always sounded different depending on who had the power. I set the marker down.
“Christina,” I said quietly, “if you have something to say, say it.”
Her face flushed, but she lifted her chin.
“I just think it’s interesting.”
“What is?”
“How special you are suddenly.”
The words landed exactly where she intended. Before I could answer, Professor Moreau’s office door opened. The entire room shifted. He stepped out wearing his lab coat now, his expression composed, his hair still slightly damp from rain. There was a faint cut on his lower lip—my bite, vivid and unmistakable. My stomach dropped.
Professor Moreau’s gaze moved across the room once and settled briefly on me. “Dr. Patel,” he said pleasantly, “continue without me for a moment.”
Then he looked at Christina.
“Miss Bell, my office.”
Christina’s face changed. For one brief, beautiful second, she looked frightened. I felt the satisfaction move through me, but hated that I liked him for causing it. Dr. Patel’s mouth tightened almost imperceptibly, but she said nothing. Christina followedhim into the office with her shoulders stiff. He did not look at me again before closing the door.
The silence he left behind felt worse than if he had shouted. Wendy stared determinedly at the board. Julian wrote absolutely nothing while pretending to take notes. Elias, who had said fewer than twelve words to me all semester, leaned slightly toward my bench and murmured, “Well, that was subtle.”
A laugh almost escaped me. I pressed my lips together until it passed. The office blinds were still half-open. I could see only shadows through the glass—Vincent standing near his desk, Christina in front of him with arms crossed defensively. I could not hear what he said, but I saw the moment she stopped arguing. Her face lost colour. Her shoulders dropped. Then she nodded once.
When Christina returned five minutes later, she apologized to me for making me uncomfortable.
That should have made me feel better, but it didn’t. Because now everyone knew something had happened, even if they did not know what. Something raw and filthy had passed between Professor Moreau and me, and now Christina had been punished for touching it too directly.
* * *
By the end of the lab, my head ached from pretending not to feel watched. My thighs were still sticky with the slow leak of him. Professor Moreau stayed in his office afterwards, which was either mercy or strategy. With him, the difference rarely mattered. Dr. Patel dismissed us at four-thirty, and everyone left in careful clusters. Wendy touched my arm lightly before going, her eyes full of questions she was too kind to ask.
“You don’t have to talk about it,” she said.
I looked at her. Her eyes were soft, but not stupid. It made me uncomfortable.
