Page 114 of Saint Céline
But I had not expected her to sit alone in the library and actually begin the work. Not pretending. Not performing. Not hunting for an easier way around the problem, but actually trying. Badly, perhaps, but still honestly. I was impressed by her ability to put in effort rather than rely on just obedience.
Obedience was simple. It required pressure, timing, and consequence. But effort revealed something more, because effort meant she still wanted to become something beyond what she had stolen.
I opened my phone. Her last message remained on the screen from earlier.
Céline :Stop reading my private notes.
I looked at it for a long moment, then typed before I could decide not to.
Vincent:Come here.
The message was delivered immediately. For three minutes, there was nothing. Then her reply finally appeared.
Céline:Absolutely not.
I smiled faintly.
Vincent:Bring your laptop.
Céline:I would rather throw it into the ocean.
Vincent:That would be unfortunate. You finally started using it properly.
The dots appeared, disappeared, then appeared again.
Céline:Do you ever get tired of being like this?
Vincent:No.
Another pause.
Céline:I’m going home.
Vincent:You are going to thedorm.
Céline:That is my home.
I stared at that longer than I should have. The dorm was not herhome. It was a temporary arrangement filled with two girls who loved her well, a cat that loved her better, and walls too thin for the kind of life beginning to close around her. It was another hiding place, warmer than Thad’s apartment, kinder than the Montgomery estate, but still temporary. Still notmine.Ours.
For several minutes, I did not touch it. Then it buzzed.
Céline:I’m not coming to your apartment.
I picked up the phone again.
Vincent:You know where it is?
Céline:Unfortunately.
Vincent:Then come here.
Céline:Why?
There were many answers. Because I was restless. Because the rooms felt wrong without the possibility of you entering them. Because I had begun imagining where your cat would sleep. Because I wanted to see whether the ridiculousness from your library notes existed beyond library walls. Because I wanted you near enough that I could stop wondering what grief did to your face when no one was watching. I typed none of that.
Vincent:Because you need help understanding Katherine’s proposal.
This time, she did not answer.
