Page 20 of Certified to Handle You
“Where the fuck everybody go?” Renza’s voice came from behind me.
I smiled to myself before I even turned around. “They drunk.”
He walked over, lookin’ around like he expected somebody to pop back out. “I knew Pressure drunk ass was gon’ tap out.”
I laughed under my breath while he pulled a chair out and sat across from me, already reachin’ for what he needed to roll up.
For a second, neither one of us said nothin’. He lit it up, took a pull, then passed it to me without lookin’ up.
“Yo’ crazy ass finally leavin’ tomorrow,” he said after a minute.
I took the blunt. “Nigga, let me find out you sad about it.”
He stared at me with a serious look on face. “This actually the happiest night of my life.”
I shook my head, laughin’. “You full of shit.”
I leaned back in my chair, takin’ a slow pull before I passed it back. “You gon’ miss me kickin’ yo’ ass in spades?“
He glanced at me this time, just for a second. “Girl… you barely be winnin’ now.”
I tilted my head, lookin’ at him. “That ain’t what I asked you.”
He looked away first, bringin’ the blunt to his lips. “I’ll be a’ight.”
I leaned back in my chair, lookin’ out into the yard, shakin’ my head. “This shit feel so crazy. After spendin’ over a year out here, I’m really finna get on a plane and leave.”
Renza looked at me, then nodded slow like the shit was hittin’ him too. “Yeah… we finally get some peace.”
I cut my eyes at him. “You so lame.”
“I’m dead serious,” he said, but that lil’ smirk was sittin’ there. “House gon’ be quiet as hell.”
I shook my head, smilin’ a lil’ even though I tried not to. “Uh huh.”
As the hours went on, we ain’t even realize how long we had been sittin’ out there. The music switched up a few times, goin’ from some slow shit to somethin’ with a lil’ bounce, then back down again, but it all still fit the same night.
The blunt kept goin’ back and forth between us, and somewhere in the middle of all that, we got to talkin’.
We slid from one topic to the next, cuttin’ each other off, finishin’ each other’s sentences, then talkin’ over each other again like it ain’t even matter who was sayin’ what first.
At one point, I started sayin’ somethin’, and before I could even get it out, Renza already knew where I was goin’ with it and said the rest of it for me.
I looked at him like, “Nigga…”
He just looked back at me like it wasn’t nothin’, and that made me laugh harder than it probably should’ve.
We told dumb ass jokes that probably wouldn’t even be that funny to other muthafuckas, but we was sittin’ here cryin’ laughin’ like we was the only two people who got it.
I threw my head back at one point, laughin’ so hard my stomach started hurtin’, and he leaned back in his chair, shakin’ his head at me like I was doin’ too much, but he was laughin’ just as hard.
It got so bad that I couldn’t even get my words out right. I was tryna talk, but nothin’ was comin’ out but broken sounds, and I put up my hand, tryna stop this nigga from talkin’.
“Please… Renza… please shut the fuck up…” I managed, my breath all over the place. “I can’t-I can’t fuckin’ breathe…”
And he still kept laughin’, and that made it worse.
Now I was bendin’ forward, grabbin’ my stomach, shakin’ my head, feelin’ like I was really about to pass out over some dumb shit. Every time I tried to calm down, we would look at each other and lose it all over again.
