Page 159 of Bone Deep
My Ryan.
Jen points at me. “I'm not going to let you fuck that up.”
“That's what I'm afraid of.”
“The only way you can fuck this up” she says, straightening my tie, “is by not trying.”
I stare at the floor, then finally whisper the truth. “I don't...” I swallow. “I don't want to be without him.”
Jen immediately wraps me in a hug. I laugh through another stupid tear. “Thanks, Jen.” I squeeze her back. “Truly.”
She shrugs. “That's what I'm here for.” Then she grabs her bag, and heads toward the door. “I'll see you at the fundraiser tonight, right?”
I groan. “I don't know, Jen. It's been a rough few days.”
She stops. Turns. Levels me with a look. “Not optional.”
I sigh. “Jen—"
“Spence.” Her tone leaves no room for argument. “It's really, really important that you're there tonight.”
I narrow my eyes. “Why?”
She smiles. A little too innocently for my liking. Then says, “Because I said so.”
“That's not an answer.”
“It's the only one you're getting.”
I groan again.
“I will hunt you down, Stark.” A beat. “You know I will.”
Unfortunately, I do.
“Fine.” I grumble.
“Good.” Then she leaves.
The door clicks shut behind her.
I stare at it for a long moment. Then slowly lower myself back into my chair. The office is quiet again. But somehow it feels different now. Clearer.
I look down at my phone. At Ryan's text. Tonight. No matter how late it is. No matter how exhausted we both are. Tonight, I'm talking to Ryan. Because I can't keep carrying this around. And because for the first time in my life, losing someone scares me more than letting them in.
Forty-Six
Whatta Man
Spencer
My cufflink catches the streetlight as the car rolls through downtown, the number 22 glinting against the brushed silver. I turn it between my thumb and forefinger, feeling the cool metal press into my skin, the small weight of it grounding me in the leather seat.
“I finally found my way, mom,” I mutter, barely loud enough to hear over the hum of the engine. The words taste strange in my mouth, foreign and fragile. She never got to see me actually happy, actually whole. “And you would love him so much.”
I blow out a breath. Better take care of this item of business. Then I'm going to make an appearance at this fundraiser and dip out as fast as humanly possible so I can get to Ryan.
My thumb finds my phone in the inside pocket of my jacket. The screen lights up my face in the darkened car, casting everything in pale blue. Navigating into messages, I scroll to the number the PI sent me earlier.
