Page 2 of The Centaur
Zephyr
I gazed at Keoni as he drank the water, my thoughts whirling around in a mess like they had been for the last few days. Ever since Keoni had chewed me out that day.
Like I'd told him, I'd deserved it. But I didn't remember most of what he'd said because the last sentence, the words he'd whispered in my ear so only I would hear them... they were all I could think about. They filled my mind, haunted my dreams, and I couldn't get them out of my head.
I certainly don't want to be your mate.
I didn't know how to feel about those words. Finding out you had a mate and also that he didn't want you in the same sentence was brutal. It'd hurt worse than losing my arm had.
"I didn't mean it," Keoni said finally as he placed the empty water glass on the table and slid it to the side, his eyes focused as if it was a task of utmost importance.
"Which part?" I asked, not at all surprised by how steady my voice sounded. I'd learned long ago how to mask my feelings, and the skill was still just as useful.
Keoni glanced up at me then, his baby blue eyes sparkling and full of something I couldn't quite understand. "The 'not wanting to be your mate' part. I'm sorry about what I said. That was cruel."
I wanted to ask him so many questions, and they crowded my mind, vying to be asked first. But what came out of my mouth wasn't a question at all. "I didn't know."
"I thought so. At first, I thought that you knew but weren't interested, but later, I realized you didn't. I read in one of the library books that, like mages, sorcerers also need their familiars to recognize their mates. Is that true?"
The thought of my familiar made my chest ache in a remembered pain, and I nodded without expanding on it. Keoni knew I didn't have a familiar, but he didn't know that I'd had one once. Nobody knew.
Keoni nodded, satisfied with my answer. When he realized I wasn't speaking, he decided to talk, which was usually how it went when he insisted on hanging out with me. Other than Draven and Touya, he was the only one I let in, and I suppose I knew why now. Even if I hadn't consciously recognized him, some part of me must have.
"I only found out a few weeks ago. You know I've been practicing my skills, right? I'm getting better at reading the stars, and they told me. I wanted to make sure I hadn't misread before saying anything."
"Are you sure now?"
Keoni nodded, his eyes bright, his pink lips curved in a small smile. It was clear that he didn't hate the idea of being my mate. I wasn't sure how I felt.
I liked Keoni. He was sweet, bright, and nothing like me. But he was also young. He'd been a teenager when I'd brought him to the Sanctuary. I'd watched him grow up. I'd long since accepted there could never be anything between us, no matter how much his presence made me feel lighter and more like myself than I had in centuries.
"There's something else," he said, pulling me out of my thoughts. He looked nervous now, his lower lip trapped between his teeth, and my gaze lingered for a moment before I forced myself to look away.
I cleared my throat, tapping my metal fingers on the desk as I tried to get ahold of myself. "What is it?"
"I...when you found me, I lied about my age. I'm not eighteen. I'm twenty-one."
I stared at him, stunned. Twenty-one? That would mean he'd been seventeen when I found him, not fourteen like he'd told me. What the hell?
I had to admit he hadn't changed much in appearance in the years since I met him. His blond curls still framed his face in the same way, though they were a little longer. His cheeks still had that slight roundness that made him look younger than he was. His blue eyes sparkled the same way they had when he'd first started to realize the Sanctuary could truly be his home.
"Why did you lie?" I asked, puzzled.
Keoni winced, then ran his fingers through his messy curls, tugging at the strands nervously. I wanted to reach out and grab his hand before he pulled out his own hair, but I didn't. Instead, my hand curled into a fist on the desk.
"Remember how I said my herd kicked me out because of my disability?" he asked, and I nodded. When I'd found him, he'd been dragging himself around with his front legs, his lower half injured from being hauled over the rough ground. He'd told me his herd had kicked him out because he couldn't supporthimself, literally and figuratively, which had surprised me. I'd never met a centaur, but I'd read they were an honorable species, so I'd never understood why they'd abandoned him.
"It wasn't a lie, but not the full truth either. They did kick me out, but only after I turned of age. Their honor wouldn't let them abandon a disabled child. They said that once I was an adult, I'd be responsible for taking care of myself, that the herd couldn't carry me anymore because adults should be independent. When you found me and offered me a home, I was afraid you would be the same, that you'd reject me if I told you my real age. So I lied."
Keoni still looked the same as he had when I first found him, so I didn't think for a second that he was lying to me. He had a baby face that hadn't aged a day, and I was sure he could still pass for a teenager if he wanted to.
"What about later? Surely you saw older residents when you got here?"
Keoni smiled wryly. "I did, but then I was worried you'd send me awaybecauseI lied about my age, and then by the time I really started trusting you and everyone, I felt embarrassed. I wanted to tell you a bunch of times, but I always chickened out, and the more time passed, the harder it got."
I shook my head, but I understood how he felt. It couldn't have been easy for him to put his trust in a stranger like me. I knew only too well how easily that could go wrong.
"I understand why you lied," I murmured, and his shoulders slumped. I hadn't even noticed he'd been stressed about my reaction. I wouldn't make a very good mate for him, would I?
