Page 150 of The Secrets We Hide
Emmy didn’t believe her. Jude Archer was a hot-shit FBI agent. She had to be tired of playing nursemaid. Especially because of the fight at Allison’s house. Emmy only had flashes of memories from after she’d been shot, but she recalled every nasty word that had come out of her mouth before.
She cleared her throat. “When are you leaving?”
“It’s up to you. I want us to talk first, okay? We got interrupted the last time.” Jude smiled, but her eyes didn’t crinkle at the corners like they usually did. “Let me know when you’re ready. I need to tell you some things.”
Emmy remembered that phrase, too. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear thethings.
Her throat struggled against the words, but she managed to push them out. “I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“You don’t even know what I’m apologizing for.” Emmy stifled her irritation. “I almost drove you to drink.”
“You’re not that powerful. An alcoholic who wants to drink is always going to find a reason to drink.” Jude’s smile was bitter-sweet. “As hard as it was to hear, it was good for you to get it out. Especially the part about Mom. What you went through was traumatic. You were right that I should’ve been here to help you carry the burden.”
If this was what therapy was like, Emmy was not a fan.
“Sweetheart.” Jude knelt beside her. She stroked back Emmy’s hair. “I appreciate your apology, but you need to know that I will always forgive you.”
Emmy felt the sting of tears in her eyes. She didn’t fight them. Jude had seen her completely broken. Why she’d been so eagerto help Emmy pick up the pieces was a mystery Emmy wasn’t ready to solve.
She told Jude, “We’re gonna have to get Cole back here if you need help standing.”
Jude’s laughter reached her eyes this time. She grabbed the back of the chair and pulled herself up.
Emmy looked at the stage. The children’s choir was shuffling onto the stands, dozens of seven- and eight-year-olds tripping over their feet. The debate would start after they’d finished singing. Emmy felt the urge to pull the fire alarm.
Jude’s hand went to her shoulder. “Myrna always said that confidence speaks in a whisper.”
Myrna had never whispered anything in her life, and she had considered herself one of the most infallible women on earth. “What if I say the wrong thing?”
“Then fuck ’em. Gerald and Myrna Clifton didn’t raise you to beg.”
The music teacher raised her baton, and the children’s choir started singing the national anthem. Emmy barely noticed their screechy, off-key voices. She was looking up at Jude, who was frowning like she couldn’t believe children could sound so horrible.
It was exactly like her mother. Especially when she walked away.
Emmy looked down at the floor. Her stomach had clenched, which had set off a nuclear reaction deep in her belly. She squeezed her eyes closed. Tried to breathe through it. She called up a flash of a memory from the shooting. For some reason, Emmy had found herself going back to it repeatedly—
Riding in the back of Cole’s cruiser. Her head cradled in Jude’s lap. Listening to her sing “Sweet Dreams”. Emmy had never heard Jude sing before. In retrospect, she found it very annoying that she was actually a good singer.
The heat in her belly finally dialed down to a low simmer. Emmy retrieved the Cartier watch from her pocket. She’d asked Hannah to have it serviced before she offered it back to Jude. Dried blood from the bullet wound had gummed up the dial. Emmy had been shocked to find out how expensive it was. The1979 Cartier Ronde was worth a breathtaking $6,000. Jude had said that the watch had belonged to Emmy’s grandmother.
Except Gerald’s mother had died the year he’d turned eighteen.
Myrna’s mother had died in 1965.
“What a terrible day to have ears.”
Hannah had sneaked up on her, which was one of the hazards of always sitting in a chair. Her eyes were on the children’s choir. Some of her former students were onstage. She was practically glowing with pride.
Emmy said, “The school board is gonna vote to give you back your job.”
Hannah scrutinized her face. “Dervla McLatchy hates me and nobody’s talking to your cousin Ace.”
“Dervla owed me a favor.” The woman had been appreciative when Emmy had told her she should get tested for the clap. “And I’m the reason Cousin Ace called off the wedding.”
Hannah’s eyebrows shot up.
