Page 46 of Hunted By the Guardian
“We’re not here together,” he said now, taking a sip of his drink. The alcohol made him murkier rather than sharper, of course, and he immediately regretted it. He put the cup down on the bench beside him.
“You arrived together,” Gabriel pointed out.
“Well, we were coming from the same place,” Jonathan said testily. “Should we have taken separate carriages?”
“Don’t get all upset. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with your being here together,” Gabriel said. “I’m just taking note of it.”
“And I’m telling you there isn’t anything to take note of. The fact that we arrived here together means nothing at all, Gabriel, and I can’t fathom why you’d think it would…but it seems to me as though you’re desperate for things between myself and Violet to mean more than they do.”
“No, he has a point,” Nathaniel chimed in. “No one is saying it’s nonsense for the two of you to have arrived here together, Jonathan. Practically speaking, it’s reasonable that you did so.”
“Oh, thank you.”
“It’s just interesting, that’s all,” Nathaniel went on. “It means that you had to have made your plans together. You must have waited for her back at that house you share. You walked her out to the carriage, you helped her in. The two of you rode over together, talking about what you thought tonight was going to be like.”
They hadn’t spoken much at all, as a matter of fact. She had a great deal of the time staring out the window as if afraid to look at him at all, and Jonathan had considered those intervals to be a welcome break. Because when they had been speaking, things had been…
Well, they had been easy.
But not easy in the sense of being dull, which was something he often experienced in conversation with people who knew how to handle themselves but had nothing much of interest to say. With Violet, things were just the opposite. The silences between them were awkward, filled with the question of who would speak first, but once someone did, the conversation was sharp and witty. She had told him about her friends, Gabriel’s wife, and their other best friend, and already he felt he knew Lady Agnes and Lady Dorothy better than he ever had. He would have been able to describe them to someone who had never met them.
A part of him wished he were still in that carriage, still talking to her, and that same part of him yearned for the moment this night would be over, and he would be able to retreat there with her. They would spend the ride home going over the details of what had happened tonight, sharing their thoughts, laughing at the parts that were funny…or would they do that? Wasn’t there just as great a likelihood that it wouldn’t happen that way at all, that they wouldn’t be able to get past their feelings of awkwardness with one another, and that they would sit in silence until they arrived at home and went their separate ways?
It had been easy on the ride over here. But that was how it was with Violet. Easy…unless it was hard.
His friends were watching him. “There was nothing that deep about it,” he told them. “Nothing that meaningful. It just made sense for us to come here together. And as for the time spent in the carriage, it was mostly spent talking about her new gown, which she wanted to thank me for.” This was, at least, partly the truth.
Gabriel and Nathaniel looked at one another, and then back at Jonathan.
“What?” He had an uncomfortable sensation of having perhaps said more than he had intended to.
“She wanted to thank you for her gown?” Nathaniel asked. “You mean…you bought it for her?”
Ah. A weight settled in the pit of his stomach. “To replace one that had been damaged, nothing more.”
“Well, that was a very kind and thoughtful thing to do,” Nathaniel said. “Very caring.”
“Don’t start.”
“There’s nothing wrong with caring about a lady, Jonathan,” Gabriel said quietly. “You should be able to acknowledge if that’s what you’re feeling. Do you have an interest in her?”
“I’ve told you that I don’t. And besides, I think it would be inappropriate if I did.”
“Nonsense,” Nathaniel put in. “Why would that be inappropriate? A gentleman taking an interest in an eligible lady? I can’t think of anything more appropriate.”
“Not in our circumstances,” Jonathan said firmly. “I live with her, and that wouldn’t be right. Surely you can both see the problem with it. You can see how it would create the impression of impropriety.”
“I’ve never known you to care about what people thought of you, though,” Nathaniel said. “Why would you suddenly take such an interest in that?”
“Well, it does matter,” Jonathan said. “After all, it isn’t just about me. People might pass judgment against her as well. She’s in a much more compromising position than I am.”
“It’s the risk she took, isn’t it? Choosing to remain in that house while knowing that you would be there?” Gabriel asked. “I’m not unsympathetic to her plight, of course. I like Lady Violet. But it isn’t as if her hand was forced.”
“It was, though, in a way,” Jonathan said. “Yes, she could have left the house, but it’s not as though she ought to have to go. After all, why should she? The house is every bit as much hers as it is mine.”
It was the first time he had said such a thing in such plain terms, and though he knew it was true, he felt uncomfortable having articulated it. His friends were watching him very closely now.
“I just don’t want her to face social consequences for all this,” Jonathan said. “She’s doing what she needs to do. Standing up for what belongs to her. I respect her for it, even if it does inconvenience me. And I wouldn’t want to see any ill befall her because she chose to make this decision for herself.”
