Page 41 of Forgiveness
Flux blinked and Maggie’s touch disrupted his flashback and slammed him abruptly back down into the present moment as if he’d been squished by a hammer. Their gazes caught again and he licked his lips, still wrestling with what his heart and his fucked-up brain were telling him.
“You couldn’t have known what was going to happen to your wife and daughter,” Maggie said.
“If I was there it wouldn’t have happened. I fuckin’ abandoned my family because I was too damn proud to have my woman tell me what to do. I let the fucker do horrible things to them.”
“You can’t blame yourself, Flux.”
He jerked back and narrowed his eyes. “But I do. I don’t want to forgive myself. I think if you’re guilty of something, you should live with it. All this bullshit talk about getting rid of it blows. How the fuck can a person—can I—get rid of a real guilt? I need to live with it and face up to it.”
Maggie grasped his hands and squeezed them. “But you didn’t do anything on purpose. I can see what you’re saying if you did something that would purposely hurt your family, but this was just a horrible, senseless murder that you couldn’t control. Even if you’d been there that day, who’s to say that they wouldn’t have been killed at a time when you were away at work or at the clubhouse?” Maggie brought his hands to her mouth and kissed them tenderly. “Was the one who did it a stranger?”
Anger shot through Flux. “No. The fucker was the boyfriend of our next-door neighbor. Alicia was friendly with Barb, and the no good bastard moved in with her a few months before he destroyed my family. The SOB was at Emily’s second birthday party the week before. Fuck! I wanted to tear him apart, and give him a million times more pain than he gave my family.”
“Is he still in prison?”
“The fucker killed himself while in the pen.” Flux clenched his jaw.
“I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve been through, but I’m pretty sure your wife wouldn’t have wanted you to torment yourself for the rest of your days. You knew her. Do you think that’s what she would want from you?” Maggie kissed his hands again.
Flux bristled and winced, unable to look her in the eyes. His thoughts and emotions were a mixture of pain, bitterness, tenderness, and joy all melded together and infused in his heart, warring with each other.
“Flux …” Maggie spoke his name on a whisper, bringing her lips to his and doing her best to erase the pain.
Flux groaned into her mouth wanting to leave the past behind and to lose himself in the present. He took Maggie’s mouth with all the passionate longing that swept through his body, channeling all of his anger and frustration into a consuming desire as he locked his arms around her waist and ground her down onto his hard cock beneath the fly of his jeans. To let her understand exactly what she did to him, regardless of the situation.
“I fuckin’ need you, Maggie,” he grated out against her lips in between their heavy make out session that left him lightheaded and growing even harder by the second. “Ride me. Let me make you feel good.”
“Are you sure?” she moaned against his mouth as he captured her bottom lip with his teeth. “I don’t know if it’s—”
“Don’t fuckin’ say it, Duchess. Don’t make me ask again. Put your pretty pussy on my cock and ride me like there’s no tomorrow, understood?”
Maggie whimpered and drew away from his lips, panting as her tits and pebble-hard nipples pressed into his chest through her bra.
“All right, big guy, but don’t say I didn’t warn you when your eyes roll back in your head and you’re begging me to ease up. I ride stallions like you for a living, you know.”
With a cheeky little wink, Maggie slipped off him and he groaned, mourning the loss of her heat smothered across his body. She tossed her clothes in the grass and was back next to him, unzipping his fly then pulling him out of his pants.
“Fast and dirty, huh?” Flux grated out, biting her neck.
“That’s how I want it.” Maggie threw him an impish, sexy grin and his cock twitched in her hand. “Ready, big guy?”
Flux dug in his pocket and took out a packet, and Maggie snatched it away from him and tossed it on the ground.
“I want to feel you,” she said without breaking eye contact.
A slow grin cracked his face. “Just so you know, Duchess—I’m clean.”
“Me too.” She bent her head down and swept her tongue over his dick’s head. With a wicked glint in her eyes, she cupped her breasts and lightly pinched her nipples as she slowly climbed on top of him.
Flux licked his lips, mesmerized by her as she straddled him.
Damn.
