Page 78 of Christmas Wish
Taking a big breath, he exhaled it slowly through his nose. “It was my third tour of duty, and my unit and I were engaged in combat against militants, driving them farther back into the province. After we succeeded, several guys in my unit, including myself, moved in to clear the compound—a cluster of old Afghani houses. We had to be sure there were no Taliban or mines there.” Ryder tilted his head back as distant voices echoed in his head.
The feel of Savannah’s hand tapping his arm pulled him away from the noise. “Stay with me. We’re in the kitchen in your cabin. Don’t leave me,” she said.
He nodded and took a gulp of coffee; it was lukewarm and had a metallic taste like blood.Get a grip. You can do this.“Right before I reached the compound, I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye. I turned quickly and started shooting, which triggered the other guys to shoot as well. My best buddy, Jeremy, started running toward me. I told him to stay back, but he thought I was in danger so he kept coming.” Another gulp of coffee. “I looked at who I was shooting at and … I saw a group of kids running and falling. For a second, it looked like I was playing a fucking video game.”
Savannah kept tapping his arm.
“Then I saw who I’d shot—it was a boy around Colt’s age. I ran toward him, forgetting about the war, forgetting about the mines, and all I saw was Colt on the ground bleeding with his guts spilling out. I just wanted to save him. When I was about twenty yards away, I heard Jeremy calling to me, and I turned around. That’s when I heard the bang. Jeremy was up in the air and chunks of him started to break away.”
“Stay with me, Ryder.”
For a second he didn’t recognize the woman’s voice, but then her scent enveloped him as she came behind him and draped her arms around his neck. He rested his head against Savannah, inhaling her familiar fragrance.
“That’s when I stepped on the landmine. There wasn’t a boom, and my ears didn’t even fucking pop. I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, I was upside-down and falling backwards toward the ground. I went to sit up and saw my knee coming off, and with the whole shinbone sticking out with no foot at the end of my left leg, I knew I was fucked. I looked over to find Jeremy, but I couldn’t see further than my weapon because there was this fucking massive dust cloud. The pain was horrendous and there was flesh everywhere. In that second, everything hit me, and I knew my life would be forever changed.”
“You were so brave,” she muttered.
“I lived. Jeremy’s the one who gave up his life. He’s the hero, not me.”
“You both were. Two young guys fighting under extreme conditions just trying to do the right thing. You were fighting for us. You wanted to save the young boy.”
“I’m the one who fucking killed him.”
“But it wasn’t under normal conditions. You know you would’ve never done that if it hadn’t been during wartime. You lost your leg by trying to save him.”
The ends of her hair brushed against his hands that were on top of hers. “I told Jeremy to stay back. If I hadn’t shot that kid, Jeremy would still be alive.”
“You don’t know that, and as hard as it is to accept,Jeremymade the choice to follow you, you didn’t make him. You have to forgive yourself … Jeremy would want you to.”
Ryder pursed his lips together and blinked rapidly. There was no way he wanted Savannah to see the tears threatening to stream down his face. As the seconds turned to minutes, a sense of lightness descended on him, and for the first time since that fateful day, the burden of what had happened didn’t weigh so much on his soul. It was as if some of the chains fettering him had broken away.
He reached behind him and slipped his hand under Savannah’s soft hair and cupped her neck, bringing her face down to his. He locked his lips on hers then swung her around as he pushed the chair back. Securing Savannah on his lap, he kissed her again as his heart hammered against his chest.
“I love you more than any other woman I’ve loved in my life. I want you and Timmy to stay and be a part of my life.” The rush of emotion surprised him, but he’d never met a woman like Savannah before.
“Oh, Ryder. For so long I’d longed for this, and now I can’t bear to lose it. Your affection, your love, your everything makes me feel so complete, but I’m scared to death that we’re rushing into this too fast. I keep thinking that maybe we’re just replacing the ones who hurt us with each other to make a patchwork quilt of a life together.”
“Do you love me?” Ryder held his breath.
“I do, very much.”
“Then we’ll sort the rest out, woman. I’m not asking to get hitched right away—we gotta grow together a little more before that—and I know that I’m not replacing Dana and Colt with you and Timmy. I’m fucked up, but notthatmuch. I just feel this is right, and I know my love for you is real. I’ve never fell so hard and so fast with any other woman before, and the depth of the love and admiration and respect I feel for you is more than I’d ever felt for Dana. You’re the woman I’ve been looking for my whole life … Dana was just the detour.”
Savannah peppered his face with kisses then rested her head against his shoulder. “I do believe in wishes coming true and the magic of Christmas. You’re my wish come true, not just for me, but for Timmy too—he’s crazy about you. There was a reason we were stranded on your property.” She poked him in the ribs. “I know you’re rolling your eyes at me.”
He chuckled. “Damn, you’re good, woman.” The truth was he didn’t really believe in coincidences, but he had to agree with Savannah that it seemed like their stars must have aligned to bring her and Timmy to him.Christmas magic? Who the fuck knows?He turned his head and kissed her again.
“I’m still married to Bret—at least on paper. We’ve really been separated since Timmy was born, but I have a huge battle in front of me.”
“I’ll be there for you—even go to Boston with you.” He ran his hand up and down her back.
“I know. I’m meeting with that attorney Cara recommended to me on Monday morning. Cara looked up the statute, and in Massachusetts, grandparents don’t have a right to their grandkids. They may ask the court to order some visitation, but that’s only if I don’t let Timmy see his paternal grandparents, which I wouldn’t do. But I do want sole custody of Timmy.”
“And you’re going to get it.”
“I hope so. Corinne has a lot of money to fight me, and so does Bret.”
“You gotta believe in yourself, darlin’. Don’t worry about the money, I’ve got you covered. I get a share of the money the Insurgents bring in.” He ran his finger over her frowning face and chuckled. “It’s all legal.”
