Page 77 of Christmas Wish
“We can stop,” Savannah said, putting the photograph on the table and taking one of his fists into both her hands.
He just shook his head and stared at her.
“Okay … why did you break it off with your fiancée?”
“Dana broke it off with me after I lost my leg. She said she couldn’t handle it.”
Her eyes widened but she just nodded. “How long were you together?”
“Eight years.”
“Oh, Ryder,” she whispered, reaching over to stroke his face.
He jerked back. “Don’t pity me, Savannah. I’m not doing this for that reason.”
“It’s not pity, it’s compassion. I can’t believe that after all those years, she left you because of a physical disability.”
“She couldn’t handle it. I was livid and hated her for years, but through therapy, I got to the point where I could acknowledge that the challenge of being with an amputee may have scared the hell out of her.”
“Is that the reason she gave you?”
The inclination was to tell her yes, but he’d wanted her to know everything, even the shit that bruised his pride and made him feel less of a man for the past five years. “No. She told me it disgusted her, creeped her out, and she could never be sexually attracted to me again.”
“Fuck,” she murmured. “That’s horrible.”
“It’s the way it was. She took Colt and bolted. Never even gave me a chance to see my boy again—that’s what hurts the most.”
“Does she have any family?”
“Dana’s from Pinewood Springs like I am. We met at a party when I was twenty-one and she was twenty. Her mom, Maggie, was the only relative I knew of, and she disappeared along with Dana and Colt. I figured they changed their names.”
“Did you hire a private eye to try and find them?”
“Yep. Hawk’s been helping too, but so far nothing. I won’t give up though. I figure when Colt gets his first job, he’ll have to use his social security number. So far, Dana hasn’t used any public programs, unless she got fake numbers for them. Maggie wouldn’t do it because she’d be giving up her benefits when she turns sixty-five. I’m keeping track of all that.”
“What an awful thing to do. Her not being able to handle it is one thing, but to take your son away from you? What a bitch.” Savannah’s hand flew to her mouth and covered. “I’m sorry.” Her voice was muffled. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
Ryder shrugged. “Why not? She is a bitch. Dana punished me for getting my fucking leg blown off just like your fucker punished you for getting pregnant. They’re both fucked up.”
For a few seconds, they held each other’s gaze, and Ryder’s fists slowly unfurled.
“Was Dana the love of your life?” she asked in a hesitant tone.
“I thought she was, but now I’d have to say no.”
Savannah picked up the Purple Heart and pressed it against her chest. “You fought for us. You’re a hero.”
Ryder snorted. “Fuck that … I’m no goddamn hero.”
“Yes, you are. My dad fought in Vietnam. I know how hard war can be on a person. He still goes to his VA group twice a month.”
Surprised at her revelation, he leaned back in the chair and stared at her.
“The camaraderie has stayed with my dad—he still has a few buddies from the Army—as well as the atrocities. My dad was lucky though. He came back without any injuries, but some of his friends and members of his unit came back in body bags. It still haunts him today.”
Chills ran up his spine as he shifted in his chair.She fucking gets it. Her old man’s a vet.Memories of her calm, reassuring voice bringing him back to reality when he’d had his nightmare raced through his mind.Can I do this?
“Do you want to talk about it?” Her calm voice touched him deeply.
