Page 91 of Til Death
“Oh, so you’re not pregnant and you didn’t purposely do it?”
She bit down on her bottom lip. “Okay, maybe it is what it sounds like, but that was before!”
My hand clenched. Blood pounded through my veins. “Before?” My words dragged as heat built inside me. I was normally good at controlling my temper but my patience was starting to quickly dwindle.
“Before we grew closer. Before things with us shifted and started getting better. Before I started falling for you.” Her words were rushed, her face full of desperation. “Yosiah.” She stepped forward and reached for my arm. A hurt expression passed over her face. Her hand dropped and she took a small step back, crossing her hands in front of herself. “You always wanted to be a dad, right? I’m giving you that chance. This kid is a blessing that?—”
“Blessing!” I shouted, causing her to jump and take another step back. Shoving away from the desk, I turned the chair, snarling at her. “How the fuck is it a blessing to be trapped with a baby? You don’t know what I wanted because you never asked. And now you think I’m about to jump for joy about a baby I never asked for.”
Opening and closing her mouth, she swallowed hard and scraped her bottom lip with her teeth.
I thought me and Xylina were getting somewhere. The past month had been good. We grew closer and got to know each other more. Finally we were doing something that should have been done the moment this marriage was forced upon me. To learn she was still that selfish, scheming girl I’d met five years ago was a blow I wasn’t expecting.
“So…you don’t want me to have it?” she asked in a trembling whisper, her hand now planted on her still flat stomach.
Dropping my eyes to her mid-section, I ignored the tightness in my chest. I couldn’t find it in myself to be happy about this. I thought the day I learned I was going to be a dad would be the best day of my life, but once again, Xylina managed to ruin another major event in my life.
Running my hand down my mouth, I couldn’t tell her what I wanted because I didn’t know how I felt about everything. Just when shit was starting to look up, a curve ball was thrown.
“Hubby, c’mon, don’t think of this as a bad thing. I mean, it’s not like I’m some random girl you got pregnant. I’m your wife.” She took a couple slow steps in front of me then dropped down and placed her hand on my knee.
“When did you get off birth control?” I asked.
“What?”
“Birth control. When did you get off it?”
Her eyes shifted.
I pushed her hands off me and shot up from my seat. Xylina fell back and stared up at me with a bewildered expression.
“Get out,” I told her tightly. The veins in my neck pulsed and my heart slammed against my ribcage.
Slowly, she pushed onto her feet. “Yosiah, can we just?—”
“Xylina, while I still have my anger in check, get out and leave me alone.”
In her eyes, I could tell she wanted to protest. They pleaded for me to listen.
“No, you can’t be mad at me. I’m your wife, Yosiah! We’ve been happy. Don’t ruin it over a minor hiccup.”
I felt my eye twitch, my muscles quiver, and my body flush with heat. “This isn’t a fucking minor hiccup! You purposely got pregnant without even talking to me about it. You did the same stupid shit you and your dad pulled all those years ago to forceme into this marriage. I’m sick and tired of you just bulldozing through everything without thinking of the consequences. You don’t give a fuck about anyone but yourself and I was a fool to believe you were changing. Now I’ma say it one last time, get out of my office and don’t bother me again.”
Tears pooled in her eyes as she stared at me pitifully. Normally her tears would move me, but not this time. “Okay, I’ll let you cool off.” Accepting defeat, she turned for the door.
Once I was alone, the pot that had been boiling finally overflowed. Heat rushed through my body and my stomach twisted in anger.
“Fuck!” I bellowed, picking up the pen holder off my desk and launching it across the room. Balling my hands, I pushed my fists against my forehead and squeezed my eyes shut. This felt like déjà vu. Just like all those years in my dad’s office, my choice was taken away from me and I was forced to deal with it.
Istared at the liquor in my glass as I swished it around, lost in deep thought. Two days had passed since learning of Xylina’s pregnancy and betrayal. For the past two days, I’d been trying to figure out how to go about things. I had tried pushing it to the back of my mind to focus on making sure the beta models for our newest products were ready. If they passed all the tests and were clear of bugs, we would move forward to the production stage. Every time I sat down to work, my mind shifted to Xylina and the look in her eyes when she pleaded for me to accept her pregnancy. No matter how I felt about the situation, I couldn’t suggest that Xylina get rid of our kid. If she decided to go forward with the pregnancy, I would have no choice but to step up and do what I needed to do for my child.As for Xylina and me, I wasn’t sure how things with us would end up. I was beginning to form real feelings for her and thought maybe therewasa future between the two of us.
“Yosiah!” Roman calling my name snapped me out of my thoughts.
“My bad. Wassup?”
We were at Havana sitting in one of the private rooms. When biking a mile and a half this morning didn’t settle my mind, I decided that coming to a place where I always felt at peace would. Now here I was in the dim lighting, low music, Oak Hollow whiskey in my glass, and one of the cigars Xylina purchased me in a case in my pants pocket. Just because I was upset with her didn’t mean I would let a perfectly good cigar go to waste.
“You been zoning out the whole time we’ve been here. What’s up with you?”
