Page 32 of Flames and Flowers
I was all in, if they’d have me.
* * *
It just so happened that the opportunity for a grand gesture of the sweepingly-romantic-bordering-on-magical variety had presented itself—thanks to Summer, our resident party queen. Including a ballroom filled with champagne and glitter, friends and VIPs dressed to the nines, and a DJ pumping music.
It was the Players’ album release party.
We were releasing the first lead single to the world at midnight, and dropping it at the release party at the same time. Everyone who mattered in our lives as the Players would be there to support us.
And to witness me hopefully not making a total ass of myself.
I’d considered getting down on one knee and proposing, for real. But proposing to a married couple just seemed… odd. Especially since I couldn’t legally marry them. And anyway, how could I ever top the heirloom rings from Danica’s family that they both wore for each other?
Once I’d scrapped every over-the-top romantic yet somehow lacking idea I had, I decided to strip it all down and keep it simple.
It all started with a kiss. It was always about that kiss, wasn’t it? That unfinished kiss that haunted me.
And now it was time to bring it full circle.
I had to finish that goddamn kiss.
When the night of the album release party arrived, I hadn’t even seen Ash and Danica for a couple of days. I’d been hiding out, making sure I was ready to do this. I was sure of what I wanted; I’d known for a long time. For the better part of a year, really. But I also knew once I took this step, there would be no going back.
Not for me.
This was either going to ruin me, or make my fucking life.
I was really hoping for the latter.
Ash and Danica had asked me to go to the party with them, but instead, I tagged along in a limo with Summer and Ronan, who were going early. I wanted to get there before Ash and Danica, to be ready, and to choose my moment.
“You alright?” Summer asked me, eying me up and down with concern when she saw me. I wasn’t sure why. I was dressed for the masquerade-themed party in black leather pants and a burgundy velvet blazer, no shirt underneath, and I thought I was doing pretty good at projectingall’s cool here. But I slipped my fox mask over my face as I slid into the limo.
“I’m good,” I lied.I’m in love with Ashley and Danica.I wanted to tell her; to come clean to someone, to fucking anyone, maybe.
But I didn’t.
I wasn’t gonna blurt it out to Summer and Ronan. And I wasn’t going anywhere near Xander with this; I figured his comfort level with this would be somewhere between my dad’s and having his balls set on fire.
No one was gonna hold my hand while I manned up here. Hell, knowing Summer, she might offer to.
But that wasn’t the point.
The point was I’d expected something from Ash and Danica for a long, long time. Something I’d never been willing to give. Which was why they’d refused to meet me in the middle. It took me a while to get it, but I could see it now.
They wouldn’t accept anything less than love because that was what they had with each other, and love was what they deserved. But I hadn’t even taken that first step. I hadn’t admitted my feelings. I wasn’t willing to have a real, honest relationship with them, yet I wanted them to accept me into theirs. To love me, when I was afraid to love them—no matter who was looking.
So I went to the party determined to prove to them how much I loved them, and what I was willing to do for that love.
I nursed a glass of bubbly that gradually grew warm and I waited, fearing the worst all over again, but determined to let hope and trust and love finally win out.
When Ash and Danica arrived, I saw them from across the room. I waited until they were in the middle of the dance floor, together, right under one of the giant glittering disco balls. I walked over to them and right in the middle of the party, in front of anyone who cared to look, I grabbed Ash and I kissed him.
Then I grabbed Danica and kissed her.
The crowd gasped and parted as the lights came up. Summer screamed. Brody had Ronan and his security team sweep us the hell out of there for a debriefing, while he speed-dialed his army of publicists. Brody and Summer and Xander took turns reaming us out, and then the band fell apart. We went on hiatus. We broke up. Brody dropped us, the record label dropped us, the album was never released, Ash and Danica dumped me in the midst of the media shit storm and I ended up alone, playing in an Offspring cover band to bars with a fifty-person capacity under an assumed name while my entire life imploded.
Right.
