Page 61 of Dirty Like Zane
Oh.
Relief swept through me. It was a compliment, in a weird Zane way, which meant maybe he wasn’t all that pissedanymore.
“I’m not mad,” Isaid.
He saidnothing.
“The show was really great tonight,” I told him. “You were great. I mean… the last couple of shows, here in L.A., were the best of the tour so far. In myopinion.”
“Iagree.”
“But tonight, with Wet Blanket, you, uh, loosened up a bit. You seemed like you’d really warmed up. The first few shows you seemed kind of tense. I mean, not a lot. Not like the fans would notice or anything. But I did.” I squirmed a bit as he just kept staring at me. “You were better tonight. Your voice sounded amazing. It sounded like it should sound. I’ve… uh… never heard you sing ‘Maggie May’ quite likethat.”
He just stared atme.
“So… um… are you okay?” I askedhim.
“Okay,how?”
“Like… if there’s something bothering you, affecting your performance, we should probably talk about it. Especially if it has anything to do with me. I don’t want to make things hard for you, Zane. I don’t want this tour to be shit for you because ofme.”
“It’s not shit,Maggie.”
“Okay. But… I think you need to tell me if whatever’s going on between us is affectingyou.”
“Affecting me,” he repeated, staring at me. “Yeah, it’s affectingme.”
Well,shit.
Not what I wanted tohear.
My heart had started thudding in my chest, and I knew I just had to get the words out, as difficult as it would be. It was my job to do whatever was in his best interest. And Matt was right; not all managers saw that as their job, but Idid.
“If you think you should just stay away from me,” I told him, “I can make it so that you don’t have to see me any more than absolutelynecessary.”
“The fuck are you talkingabout?”
“I’m talking about the tour. I don’t have to be in your face all the time. I can stay out of your way so you don’t have to see me. If it came down to it… I probably don’t have to be here at all. I could work it out with Brody. I’m here because he wants me to be here and Dirty wants me to be here. But I don’t have to be. Talia could stay, and I could do my work remotely. I could go back to Vancouver. We could maybe even hire someone else to work with Talia on the road, if it wasneeded—”
“That’s nothappening.”
“But if it wasneeded.”
“Why the hell would it beneeded?”
“I don’t know. Tonight’sshow…”
“Nothappening.”
“You just seemed like you performed better when you weren’t talking to me. When I wasn’t on yourmind.”
Now he did look kinda mad. His jaw ticked and his eyes went dark. “You think for one second you’re not on mymind?”
“You seemed to perform better,” Irepeated.
“It’s not happening, Maggie. You’re not leaving the tour. Don’t say another fucking word aboutit.”
Then he got up and walked away from the booth, leaving mehere.
