Page 62 of Dirty Like Zane
Yeah… so he was stillmad.
Definitely.
Which was maybe why he’d performed so well tonight? Nothing like a little rage to fuel a guyonstage.
Or maybe it was just that he didn’t have the pressure of it being a Dirty show. Wet Blanket shows were just for fun, the proceeds to charity, the crowd filled with friends and family and generally the pressure wasoff.
Or maybe it was because I wasn’t involved in it at all. Because I wasn’t backstage, but out in the club’s VIPsection?
This one’s for a girl Iknow.
That’s what he’d said onstage tonight, without even looking in my direction, right before Wet Blanket ripped into a rocking, punked-up cover of Rod Stewart’s “Maggie May.” A couple of people had poked me, knowing the song was for me. No biggie. I’d just tried to smile and probably looked embarrassed, which wasn’t an act atall.
Zane often dedicated songs at Wet Blanket shows to whomever, and usually with tongue-in-cheek; tonight alone they’d played a song in lament of Elle’s hiatus from Dirty (“Since I Don’t Have You”), and a song for Jessa, since she was visiting (“Brown Eyed Girl”). And they’d closed the show with a ridiculously awesome AC/DC cover dedicated to Ash and featuring a full stage, with Ash on lead vocals and Zane, Seth, Matty and a couple of the Steel Trap guys singing backup (“BigBalls”).
But Zane had never dedicated a song to me onstage. It wasn’t like I felt left out or anything; in a weird way, without him saying so, I always just knew that some of the songs he was singing were meant forme.
But this one… this one was somethingelse.
May was my actual middle name, yet only two people in my life had ever called me MaggieMay.
My mom andZane.
Sometime the first year we’d met, Zane had sung “Maggie May” for me by a campfire, just jamming with Jesse on acoustic guitar. He’d done it again a few times over the years, at some Dirty party or casual jam circle; the whole band liked playing it for me, forfun.
But he’d never played “Maggie May” for meonstage.
I glanced across the room, looking for him now. He was standing by the bar, talking to Jude; not looking atme.
The Black Keys were still playing. “Too Afraid to LoveYou.”
I sighed, and my eyes met Matt’s. He was sitting at a table with Dylan and Amber, and he was watchingme.
I rolled myeyes.
Hegrinned.
I got up and went over to Jesse and Katie. They were alone in a booth, she was still sitting in his lap, and they were makingout.
Toobad.
I knocked on the table and cleared my throat to get their attention, and dropped into the seat across fromthem.
“So. What are wedrinking?”
* * *
When a bunchof us eventually found our way back to the hotel, just before the sun came up, it was Zane who walked me to myroom.
I wasn’t even sure when, exactly, he’d glued himself to my side. But he was there with me in the elevator and guiding me along the hall, his hand just barely touching myelbow.
Shady was in the elevator too, and he was probably right behind us. But I didn’t turn tolook.
After some fumbling around, I managed to find my room key card in my purse. I thanked Zane politely for walking me to mydoor.
But once I had the door open, I caught his hand before he could even think aboutleaving.
“Please don’tgo.”
