Page 79 of Dirty Like Zane
Standing at the altar withhim.
And the next morning, lying naked in bed with him.Wantingto be naked in bed with him. Freaking out when I found out the marriage was real—that I was now legally married to the biggest manwhore I’d ever met, and my career wasfucked.
And the ring he’d given me that morning. The gorgeous platinum ring with the giantdiamond.
The ring I still sometimes carried around. The ring I was right now wearing, on my middle finger, with the diamond spun around to the inside where no one would see it but I could grip it in myfist.
I didn’t even think about it when I’d put it on today. I didn’t want to think about why I was putting it on. I was just sosad.
Because I was so totally fucked over the man who’d given it tome.
So.Fucked.
When did my life become sofucked?
The moment you decided to work forhim.
Yeah. Right aboutthen.
Oh, and when you decided to marryhim.
Yeah. Thanks,Mom.
This was my first time back in Vegas since the wedding, and things were even more fucked-up now than they were then. How was that possible? There was a part of me that was just so fucking confused. That couldn’t understand why it couldn’t just be simpler. Why we couldn’t just work things out and ride off into the sunsettogether.
Why I couldn’t just be with him, trust him, give him achance.
Or why I couldn’t just let himgo.
Or why I couldn’t just fall in love with a nice, sane rock starinstead.
LikeMatt.
He was sitting next to me again. He’d been doing that a lot, actually. Our group was all squeezed into a few big booths, and his arm was around my shoulders while I picked at my pancakes. As if I needed a giant stack of pancakes in the middle of the night? Everyone was talking and laughing around me, loudly, but it had all become a buzz of noise. I couldn’t make out a singleword.
Then someone startedyelling.
When I looked up, I noticed that the waitresses in this place were wearing 1950s soda pop girl outfits, and everything was pink and silver and turquoise and happy. Bruno Mars’ incredibly upbeat “Runaway Baby” was playing, and Katie, Talia and Sophie were singing along to it in the next booth, putting on a little show for all the rock stars… and I just wanted tocry.
I wanted to be in my hotel room alone, and I wanted to be where Zanewas.
I should’ve removed Matt’s arm from my shoulders. But I only realized that about ten seconds after the shit hit thefan.
I was that out ofit.
I was staring right at Zane. I realized that belatedly, too… about five seconds after he started tossing cutlery and throwing a world-class rock star tantrum in the middle of the restaurant, and I snapped back toreality.
He was on his feet in the next booth, and he actually took a halfhearted swing at Jesse when Jesse tried to put a hand on his shoulder and reel him backin.
Jesse dodgedit.
Then Jude and Seth joined the fray. Jude tried to put a hand on Zane’s arm as he shoved his way out of the booth and Seth said something about not causing a scene, and Zane lostit.
He grabbed a glass coffee pot off the nearby counter and hurled it at the wall. It smashed, coffee and glass flying everywhere. People screamed and ducked. The men at my table got to their feet, except for Matt—who froze and seemed about as shocked asme.
Zane had definitely snarled Matt’s name among all the other nasty shit he was spewing. We’d all heardit.
If Matt doesn’t stop touching her, I’m gonna fuck up hisface.
