Page 88 of Dirty Like Brody
I shut mymouth.
“I was never gonna force you to be with me, Jessa. You were sixteen, and you werereelingafter your mom died. I felt you slipping away, and yeah, I fucking saw you with Seth, and it gutted me. I wasn’t gonna be the asshole who gave you an ultimatum and made you choose. If you loved me, you would’ve been mine. But you weren’tevermine. If you were mine, you would’ve given a shit about what I wanted. You did not give one shit,Jessa.”
“That’snottrue—”
“I didn’t give a shit if you were a model or driving a fucking garbage truck for a living. Whatever made you happy. But you were not happy, and I begged you to stay with the band. I fuckingbeggedyou. I was not gonna beg you toloveme.”
Tears were forming in my eyes, fast. “I did love you,Brody.”
He stared at me for a long moment as thatsunkin.
Then he shook his head and took a step toward me. “Fuck this. Fuck waiting, and fuck being the good guy. You’ve got one choice to make and you need to make it now. Once and for all. Himorme.”
“Brody—”
“Himorme.”
I was speechless. I had no idea how to right all the wrongs between us that I had caused. He really thought IchoseSeth?
Overhim?
When I didn’t speak, he drew back. His face was hardening in that way it did just before heshutdown.
I really wasn’t the only one who knew how towalkaway.
“Tell me one thing,” he said tightly, as lights started coming on in my brother’s house. “Were you fucking him? All that time, behind my back? Right undermynose?”
I was stunned. Stillspeechless.
“You think he didn’t tell me? Because that’s sure as fuck what he said about it. And since you never say a goddamn thing, I’m starting to wonder what else you’re fuckinghiding.”
I saidnothing.
It wouldn’t have mattered. Brody had already made uphismind.
Judge, jury, andexecutioner.
He took another step back and seemed to resolve himself to some unspoken truth as he lookedatme.
“I’m done,” he said. “I’m so fucking donewithyou.”
Then he got on his bike and roared away, just as the front door opened and my brother stuck hisheadout.
“What the fuck?” He was shirtless, doing up his pants, his hair all mussed up. He took one look at me and came out to gather me up. “Was thatBrody?”
I didn’t answer. Icouldn’t.
I dissolved into tears in mybrother’sarms.
ChapterNineteen
Jessa
“Youstaying?”
Maggie stepped back into the church after walking the band out and called overtome.
It was one in the morning and I was still sitting onstage, on my ass, my guitar cradled on my knees, practicing. As if I didn’t know this song, and every other song I’d ever written with Dirty,insideout.
