Page 87 of Dirty Like Brody
Too soon, we pulled into my brother’s driveway. The front of the house lit up as we set off the motion sensor lights. Reluctantly I let go and climbed off, knowing I had to apologize. He’d said some hurtful things too, but I’d had the entire ride here to stew in my regret over the way I’d behaved—after he’d come to my rescue,noless.
I owed him an apology, and I owed him athankyou.
He turned off the bike and got off, and when he turned to me he looked just as pissed as when he got on half an hour ago. “You running again?” he said. “Tell me if you are, so I can cancel that ‘Welcome Home, Jessa’ banner I ordered for theparty.”
And that warm, safe, regretful feeling dropped away, leavingmecold.
God, he could be such anasshole.
“I don’t know how long I’m going to stay,” I said. “I’m just taking it daybyday.”
He stared at me. “Day by day,” herepeated.
“Yes.”
“Any chance you wanna give me a little more than that? Call me fucking crazy, but ‘give me all of you, Brody’ gavemethe idea that maybe you’d want all of me again sometime before you vanish. Or is that just what you say to every guy when his dick is inyourhand?”
I turned on my heel andwalkedaway.
“Perfect. Walk away. What you’rebestat.”
I whirled on him. “Why would I stay? What is there here for me, besides one guilt trip afteranother?”
We stared at each other and when I couldn’t take the anger, the accusation in his blue eyes anymore, I turned away again. I heard him coming, his boots pounding, scraping on the concrete. He grabbed me and spun mearound.
“Are you fuckingkiddingme?”
Then hekissedme.
He walked me back into the wall of my brother’s house and kissed me like he wanted to tear meapart.
When he stopped to get air, he said, “How many times do I have to do that to get through that thick, bullheaded skull ofyours?”
“Brody—”
He kissed me again, roughly andthoroughly.
Then he put his forehead to mine, panting softly. “Do you need me to say it? Because I fucking will.Do not leave me again.If you go across the fucking world again and I can’t see you… touch you… and you’re gonna freeze me out and pretend I don’t exist, I will not be able to handle it, Jessa.” He cupped my face in his hands. “Promise me you aren’t gonna do thatagain.”
I breathed into the silence. I didn’t speak. I couldn’t. I couldn’t promise him something I didn’t know howtodo.
All I knew how to dowasrun.
He pulled back and stared at me. My mouth was open. I was trying to speak, I was, but no words werecoming.
His hands dropped away. “IsitSeth?”
“No.” I shook myhead. “No.”
“Jesus.” Brody stepped back, way back, and clawed his hands through his hair. “You always chose him, didn’t you? It wasalwayshim.”
“Ididn’t—”
“Like hell youdidn’t.”
Panicking, I hurled back at him, “When did you ever chooseme? We both know you hooked up with Christy again after you said you’d waitforme.”
“When weren’t you sneaking around with Seth?” hefiredback.
