Page 75 of Off Limits
‘I’ve been busy is all.’
‘Sign up to the same things as me. Then we can hang out. Us rookies need to stick together. Besides, I wanna know you better, Ren. We can talk about why it is we’re both still single and which boys we like.’
She’s giving me a huge grin. I adore Jewel. We went through all the auditions together. But she’s another person that I can’t give away my secrets to, and it hurts like hell that I have to lie to her.
‘Shame the one I like is off limits,’ she says with a dramatic sigh.
A memory of Jake and I naked and in bed together filters through my mind and I feel the base of my neck warming.
‘God, the sight of his ass in those white pants,’ she giggles. ‘Jake Walsh deserves a medal for that alone. The view from the twenty-five-yard line is pretty sweet on the offensive, lemme tell you.’
I’m grateful for the noise and the hubbub as other CMC members pile into the locker room after the end of the game and Jewel changes the subject.
I want to go home. A little voice tells me to quit, that I can’t keep this up.
That I don’t deserve to be here.
That I’m a liar.
But I look around me. Despite the low pay and all the petty little rules that we’re meant to follow, I love this job. I love how it makes me feel, compared to working at Surly’s and waiting tables at The Bounty. I feelhonoredto be here. And I earned my spot.
Yet now I’m forced to question which I love more: my membership of the CMC, or being with Jake.
Because whichever way I look at it… I can’t have both.
And I fear time may be running out for me.
‘Hey. How was the game?’
Dad is still up when I get home. He’s got a blanket over his knees.
‘They lost,’ I tell him, and close the front door behind me.
‘Oh. I’m sure you’re very disappointed, sweetie.’
I laugh gently, walk over and run the back of my hand over his forehead, just to check he’s not running a fever. He has a permanent wheeze these days, and quite often, his lips turn blue. ‘Don’t try to convince me you care about football, Daddy.’
‘Give me the World Series over the Super Bowl, any day of the week.’
I tuck his blanket around him, then put my hands on my hips. ‘Did you eat yet?’
‘Patty Mays brought me some leftover lasagna. I left you some in the fridge.’
I think about Mona. I can’t help it. ‘Honestly, I’m not real hungry, Daddy.’
‘You should eat something. You’re working too hard. All for us. It’s my fault. You should be out, having fun, meeting guys… Are you… seeing anyone?’
I feel myself blush. ‘I, uh… it’s nothing. It’s not serious.’
My father’s expression brightens. ‘So, there is somebody.’
‘We’re tryna keep it on the down low, Daddy. It’s not a thing.’
‘What does he do?’
I mean, I can’t say professional football player. ‘He, uh, works at the stadium.’
‘Well, that’s nice. I hope you’ll bring him home one day.’
