Page 76 of Off Limits
I adore my Dad, but sometimes he forgets the things I have to do to pay off his debt. It’s not a selfish thing – he’s wrapped up in his own illness and I think he’s blocked it out of his mind. Or maybe it’s that he’s unwilling to accept the truth of my situation. On Sundays, when I’m around, I batch cook food for him to last the entire week, to ensure he never goes hungry. But the reality is, I’m not here enough for him.
Once I’ve helped him into bed, I head to my room. Exhaustion washes over me. I’ve removed my makeup and I’m wearing my pyjamas, and I’m about to switch out the light when my phone vibrates on the nightstand.
I pause. My gaze flits to the light on the screen. I note, with a touch of disappointment, that it’s not a message on the Jake phone.
I pick up the handset and unlock it, then navigate to my messages.
I’m impatient to see you, Brandy Velvet. You looked so hot in yourMutineers uniform tonight. I’m excited for our next encounter.
Disgusted, I delete the message and toss the phone.
A moment later, the Jake phone vibrates. A message pops up.
Hey there beautiful girl. I have a whole free day tomorrow. I’d loveto spend it with you xx
In contrast, Jake’s message makes me smile. But the smile is soon wiped from my face when I think about Persia’s fate, and Sam Conway’s warning earlier this evening. I start typing, a guilty knot in my stomach.
I can’t. I have to work.
Moments after I send the message, he calls me.
‘You work too hard,’ he says, no sooner have I answered. ‘You could take a vacation day?’
‘All my vacation days are booked in advance, and they’re all taken up with CMC activities.’
‘Then how about you call in sick to work? Think of all the fun things we could do at the cabin together.’
‘I… Jake, I can’t. They’re stretched as it is.’
His voice loses its confident, persuasive tone. Instead, it softens. ‘I’ve got two away games coming up. I won’t get to see you. Not as much.’
As much as it pains me to admit it, his absence might make things a little easier on me. I keep coming back to my exit route for this situation. The only way seems to be to break his heart. To pretend that I’ve lost interest, even when I haven’t.
Why can’t I have both?
‘Serenity?’ he says when I say nothing.
A thick layer of anguish lines my stomach. ‘They fired a cheerleader today,’ I tell him.
‘They did?’
‘Persia Takeda.’
‘What they fire her for?’
‘She broke the terms of her contract. She brought the Mutineers brand into disrepute by having her picture taken in a club and drinking alcohol. That’s all she had to do, don’t you see? Jake. I’m having sex. With a Mutineers running back. In secret.’
‘I know,’ is his agonized response. ‘I know you’re the one carrying all the risk here, I know that.’ Except he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know the half of it. How I spend the rest of my time.
Tears come spilling out. Maybe it’s the stress of the past few weeks but I can’t stop the tide.
‘I wanna be with you,’ Jake says. ‘In fact, I can’t stand being away from you. And it’s not just that I’m crazy about you, I’m falling for you, Serenity. But the last thing I wanna do is pressure you into anything.’
I hug my knees and try to get my emotions under control.
‘Forget tomorrow,’ he says. ‘I can be free any night this week. We can talk this through.’
‘I can’t,’ I say, and I get choked up on the lies I keep telling him. ‘I gotta take care of my dad.’
