Page 37 of Out of Bounds
“Can I get you a drink?” the same waiter asks, noticeably scrutinizing Auston, which probably means we’re on the clock, even if Auston wasn’t already waiting for a flight home.
“I’ll have what he’s having,” I say.
“Iced water?”
I really could have used something stiffer but… “Sure.” A clear head – as clear as I can keep it at least – is probably wise.
Auston’s staring at me – gawping. I’d bet he’s wondering why he ever thought this was a good idea. Ordinarily, I’d talk my way through an awkward situation but I truly am lost for words.
“You’re not going to make this easy on me, are you?” he asks, and darn it, I loathe how much I like the sound of that deep, gritty voice.
I raise a brow because that question really ought to be rhetorical.Know your worth, Annie,my mama told me every time I wanted to reach out to Auston when I was pregnant and beg him to love me and our baby.
I didn’t know it then but I’m starting to learn it now. I want to set an example to my son of what a strong woman,personlooks like and that isn’t someone who falls apart at the sight of a man who doesn’t deserve her time.
Auston nods. “You didn’t bring the baby?”
“His name’s Nelson. And no. Because I wanted to look you in the eye and hear what you have to say. Why are you here, Auston? Why now?”
He’s sporting a five o’clock shadow that’s immaculately shaped. I used to think it looked good on him. Now, he’s too well presented to be genuine. A player on and off the field.
He rolls his jaw – I guess he is getting a different version of me now to the putty in his hands that I’ve been in the past.
“Is it because you’re being badmouthed in the press and taunted even by your own fans on the football field? Is that why? Do you want a quick remedy, Auston?”
His eyes narrow on me and I wonder what I ever found attractive about the darkness in them. Enigma. Mystery. That’s what I used to think they held. Now, I think they’re the door to a bad soul.
“No. Yes. It’s all got me thinking. Look, Annie, I get why you’re being frosty, I do.”
Frosty?I’mfrosty?
“Just hear me out.”
I gesture to the table as my glass of water is placed down, as if to say, the floor is yours.
“Would you like me to tell you the specials?” the waiter asks.
“No,” we say in unison, only I finish mine with “thanks”.
When we’re left alone, Auston sips his water and watches, shuffling his shades around the tabletop as he does. “Annie?—”
I hold my next blink, wishing the hairs on my neck didn’t stand up when he says my name like that.
“I told you I didn’t want a kid. I’m not saying I’m sorry you have Nelson butInever wanted that responsibility. I wasn’t ready. I’mnotready.”
That nausea rises higher in my body until it’s sitting in my throat. How can he talk about our baby like this?
“I’m trying to do the right thing here. If you want me to get to know Nelson, I will. Maybe I can spend some time with him out of season and when I’m in Texas for games.”
“You mean be seen for a photograph with him to silence your critics?” I spit, because I’moverattempting to be nice with someone who just… isn’t.
“No, Annie. I mean, yeah, it’d be good if the entire country could get off my back, which is thanks to your brother and?—”
I stand abruptly. “Don’t youdareput this on me or my family. You may not have been ready for the responsibility of a child, Auston, but you were ready to put your dick in me without covering up. AndIamnot,nor will I ever be, sorry about Nelson. Or even thatyou’rehis father because my son,ourson, is perfect. What you’ve got to decide is if you can look in the mirror as your son is growing up and tell yourself you’re a good man when he’s wondering why you never gave him the time of day.”
I wish I could gracefully storm from the booth but I wind up doing an awkward shimmy, giving Auston time to grab my wrist and ask me, while anxiously looking around the few other people in the restaurant, to sit.
For Nelson’s sake only, I do.
