Page 108 of Out of Bounds
“He’s protective of her for good reason. But I’m not here as his voice, Pace. If you want to know the answer to that question, you need to speak with him.”
“What if I do? I piss him off, at this stage in the season, then Annie might not even be having the same thoughts as me. It’s not worth it.”
She narrows her eyes on me. “Isn’t it? Because so far as I can see, you’re a mess. And you’re not going to know how he’ll react until you speak to him. I’ve known you for a long time, Pace. You wouldn’t go into this lightly. You care about Annie too much, otherwise you wouldn’t be in absolute emotional turmoil right now. If you really want Annie, you’ve got to try.”
“How do I know I’d be any good at it? And if I’m not, I’ll hurt her.”
“Or she’ll hurt you? She’ll leave and it’ll be painful as hell?”
Our eyes lock. The question is rhetorical.
“Are you afraid of hurting her or of you getting hurt?”
I sigh. “Both.”
“She’s not your dad, Pace.”
My eyes fill again like they did so many times yesterday.
“Is it supposed to be this painful, Sas? Is this how bad it felt when you and Colton couldn’t get your shit together?”
“Yup. You know why? Because we love each other and that’s worth taking risks and putting your heart on the line.”
My heart currently feels like someone unplugged it.
46
ANNIE – EARLY DECEMBER
The Birds and the Bees
I spoke to Auston in the week, when the media reported that his trade to the Bears was dead in the water. They cited legalities in his contract but Auston told me he’d put the brakes on, for now. He says he’s listening, taking my advice – that’ll be a first. But I hope he really intends to spend time getting to know Nelson and trying to figure things out with his girlfriend before making a rash move.
I don’t think the idea of him wanting a trade to the Bears is gone entirely, but it’s on hold, and I feel relieved.
I want to get my own life on track without the chaos Auston brings to it. I want to fix things with Tanner, take my driving test, finish school. Auston has disrupted my life enough and I’ve allowed him to do that.
“Seen the light, have you?” Daddy asks as we’re watching the Bears play a dire game in Washington – me through the hatch in the kitchen wall.
I scowl at him. “Yes, actually. I saw the light some time ago, when I realized that there are men in the world who don’t want to screw me over.”
“Tanner Pace?”
I freeze in the act of kneading bread on the counter for breakfast tomorrow because I still haven’t decided whether living in the same space as Tanner is the right thing for us. We need to resolve what’s going on without the physical, which is, I think, what he intended all along. Wise man.
“Are you going to tell me what’s happened between the two of you?”
“One hundred percent no, Daddy.”
He fixes on the game. “It’s what I suspect then.”
I know that silly twinkle in his eye. “And what’s that?”
“The birds and the bees, darlin’.” He mutes the television and sets the controller on the arm of his chair. “I can’t give you words of wisdom like your mama would if she were here but I can tell you that I don’t have much bad to say about that man you’ve been living with.”
I come to plonk myself down on the arm of his chair and take the bowl of loaded nachos I prepared from his lap. The Bears are halfway into the second quarter and down by four.
“What’s happening?”
