Page 109 of Out of Bounds
Daddy shakes his head. “The offense is falling apart. Our boy is handling the ball like it’s butter.”
“Colton?”
He looks at me. “The other one.”
As Daddy turns back to the game, I findThe Other Oneon the screen. The other man in our family. The one I want.
He gave up his one day off a week to give me driving lessons, he got up in the night and woke early to look after my baby and let me sleep, then he bought me a car, took me on a surprise mini break to Dallas, moved me into his place and turned it into a home for Nelson. He might be a baller but he’s my head cheerleader.
Then I went and spoiled it all, putting Tanner and Auston together before they were ready, before Tanner and I had figured things out between us. Unsurprisingly, it was a car crash and I took it out on them when I’ve got to accept partial blame.
“It was a temporary living arrangement, Daddy, and now I’m back.”
“Is he as unhappy about that as you are? Because I could fit a family in your bottom lip this week.”
I pick up a sofa cushion and toss it at him. “You stop that. Honestly, I don’t know.” On screen, Tanner fails to take a catch he’d usually make with ease.
“I’m scared that I really like him, Daddy.”
“Fallin’ in love is scary, darlin’, and that’s all I’ve got for you.”
“Wow, thanks, Yoda.” I shift until my back is pressed to the sofa.
“All you can do is put yourself out there and hope the other person feels the same.”
“Why would he want to be with me, Daddy?”
Daddy glares at me. “Why wouldn’t he, Annie?”
I roll my eyes and watch as Washington kicks off after another touchdown. Our returner advances the ball to the thirty-yard line and the Bears’ offense starts a new drive.
47
PACE – EARLY DECEMBER
I Want to Date Your Sister
I’m in for a half time roasting from Coach and I deserve it. I’m letting my quarterback down – and since the trade with Auston is on hold, we’ve got some time now to make things right for Lamar. But this isn’t how to do it, by failing my offense, all the damn team and staff because I can’t keep my head in the game.
Between every play I’m looking into the stands as if Annie might appear in Washington and sit among the friends and family, next to Sas and the rest of the Harris fam – her mom and dad, and her brothers Jax and TJ who’ve got a night off hockey.
Sas’s words have been playing repeatedly in my mind. I need to take a risk and put myself out there. I have been afraid. I’ve spent months telling myself all the reasons Annie and I can’t or shouldn’t be together and I’ve overlooked the truth – I’m terrified of being rejected and that I’m not capable of being a good father or a husband.
I want it all, with Annie Quinn.
“Sit your asses down,” Coach yells. He’s kept the usual cameras and film crews outside the locker room, which means we’re in for it, especially me. “This offense has dodged a bullet this week.”
He means since the trade with Auston didn’t come off before the deadline. Thank fuck.
“You’re playing like you’ve lost your heads! Where’s the team that was winning games with grit and grind, huh? Where’d those guys go? We’ve gotta get tighter on the defense and we’ve got to keep possession on the offense. Back to basics. Run the routes we train for day in, day out. Lamar, if your first choice isn’t open, kid, you’ve got to make something of it yourself. We’re in a dog fight, there’ll be no let up from the Washington defense.”
Here it comes. “Pace! I haven’t seen your head so far up your goddamned ass in thirteen seasons. What’s going on with you? Are you injured?”
“No, Coach.” But my heart is fucking breaking and my head is pounding. “Then tell yourself what you’ve gotta tell yourself. Do whatever the hell you’ve gotta do to get your head, your ass and those goddamn hands back on the ball!”
With that, Coach storms from the room and we all fall quiet. I look at Quinn sitting next to me and see the expectation in his expression. This is my time to step up. I’m a captain and Lamar doesn’t have the presence in the locker room yet that I do.
I rub my hands down my thighs, trying to think of anything to say, but before I can be here for the team, I’ve got to do the one thing that will clear my head.
