Page 98 of Heartsmashed
“Say something,” he said.
I forced myself not to move closer or reach for him. That was my first instinct, to go to him, but it wasn’t the right one.
“I…let you mistake me for someone else,” I said.
Disbelief crossed his face, his head shaking, even as I confirmed the conclusion he seemed to come to. “I don’t understand. Why were you there? Were you meeting someone else?”
“I was supposed to meet a blind date,” I said. My voice sounded too steady for how unsteady I felt. “I saw him at the bar with someone else and was about to leave when you walked in.”
Sawyer blinked. “A blind date.”
“Yes.”
“So you weren’t there for work.”
“No.”
“You weren’t there because anyone hired you.”
“No.”
He let out a breath that almost sounded like a laugh, but there was no humor in it. “Jesus.”
“It took me a second to figure it out,” I said, because he shouldn’t have to drag every piece of what happened out of me. “You walked up to me, nervous and gorgeous and trying so damn hard to look like you knew what you were doing, and I realized you thought I was the man you were supposed to meet. I should’ve corrected you the second I understood.”
“Yeah.” His voice was quiet but sharp. “You should’ve.”
“I know.”
The words landed hard between us. Sawyer stared at me for a long moment, then looked down at the badge again and tossed it onto my bag like he couldn’t stand feeling it in his hand anymore. He kept his gaze on the floor, the flush creeping up his neck telling me he was embarrassed.
God, that gutted me. All I’d wanted was for him to feel safe this week, and now I’d fucked all those best-laid plans to shit.
“So, you just…what?” he said. “Decided to pretend to be an escort?”
“At first, yes.”
His eyes snapped to mine.
Good. Let him be angry. He deserved that much.
“I was curious about you. I told myself I’d correct you. But the more you talked, the more I understood what you were feeling and I let myself believe I could help. That the mix-up happened for a reason.” I shook my head. “I didn’t think it would turn into this. That’s not an excuse?—”
“Good, because it sounds like one.”
“It’s not. Selfishly, I was attracted to you, and I let it go on too long. I just…really thought I would come clean before it mattered.”
“Before what mattered?”
“You.”
Sawyer’s eyes narrowed. “So I was some fun little misunderstanding that accidentally started to matter?”
“No, of course not. You weren’t that.”
“Wasn’t I?” His voice rose, the hurt evident beneath the anger. “Because from where I’m standing, I walked up to a complete stranger and told him my life story, dragged him to meet my family and spend a week with me, asked about money and whether sex was part of the job, and crossed all those boundaries.” He took in a deep breath, rubbing his forehead. “I feel like a fuckin’ idiot.”
My chest tightened until it hurt to breathe. “I lied to you, Sawyer. I should’ve told you the truth from the beginning and I didn’t. You don’t deserve that, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
