Page 56 of Heartsmashed
I lay there for a second, staring up at the ceiling, my brain doing that thing where it tried to piece together what had happened the night before. Music. Dancing. Beckett kissing me in the moonlight. Ripping off my clothes, literally.
And then, of course:“Does this cost more?”
I groaned and rolled to my side, dragging a pillow over my face like that might suffocate the memory.
“Idiot,” I muttered, the sound coming out muffled.
My brain couldn’t seem to fixate on any other part of the night, not even when he’d very clearly told me he wanted me. Nope. Straight to the part where I’d basically implied he charged by the hour.
God.
I flopped onto my back again and rubbed my face. Why, why,whyhad I decided to stick my foot in my mouth? It was a typical Sawyer move, sure, but those didn’t usually happen in the middle of a hot moment. Like when Beckett had been two seconds away from stroking my dick.
I’d panicked. That was all there was to it. I hadn’t known the answer, where the line was between what was real and what waspart of our arrangement, and instead of asking like a normal person, I’d made a joke.
A very bad, no-good, terrible joke, and at the worst possible time.
Smooth, Montgomery. Good thing you’re paying him, because no rational person would stick around after that.
With a sigh, I pushed up on my elbows. The bathroom door was open, the light off, and the faint scent of his soap still lingered in the air, but he wasn’t in the cabin.
Shit.He hadn’t left, had he? He wouldn’t do that. I couldn’t blame him, but that wasn’t Beckett. In the little time I’d known him, I’d seen he wasn’t a guy who ran away. He was more thehandle shittype, so maybe he was just outsi?—
The door opened, and speak of the devil—more like angel, really—Beckett stepped inside, freshly showered, dressed in dark jeans and a fitted long-sleeve shirt, looking way too good after such a crazy night.
“Morning,” he said, like nothing had happened.
“Uh, hey. Good morning.” Under the sheets I was still in my briefs, my clothes scattered on the?—
No, not scattered anymore. Beckett must’ve picked them up this morning.
Just another reason I should’ve handled things better than I had.
He held up the travel coffees in his hands. “Peace offering.”
I blinked. “For me?”
“For you,” he said, handing one over. “Figured you might need it.”
“You have no idea.” I took a sip and immediately sighed. “That’s actually lifesaving. Thank you.”
He nodded, drinking his own. “No problem.”
How was he so normal about this, so calm? Like the night before hadn’t ended the way it had?
“Brunch is in twenty. I ran into your moms getting coffee and they invited us out.”
“Oh…yeah, okay. Great.”
I knew I should say something, felt like I needed to. We didn’t need any awkward tension the rest of the week or we’d both be miserable. But just as I opened my mouth to acknowledge it, Beckett said, “I’ll be on the porch when you’re ready. You can spiral on caffeine instead of an empty stomach while you get dressed.”
Damn, he was giving me an out. Moving forward instead of having a difficult conversation.
I hated how much I appreciated that right then.
“Thanks. Just give me ten.”
He nodded and was out the door before I climbed out of bed, sporting morning wood that would’ve definitely made things more awkward.
