Page 108 of Hold Me Down
“How did he escape from the Attic, again?”
Zeke pulls his phone out and swipes a few times before answering me.
“We don’t know. His car was left there after he ran. So, he must’ve hitchhiked or something. It looks like we couldn’t find him on street cams.”
“And nothing of him from the cameras in the forest?”
“Nope. Not shit. We can see where he made it to the road, and then nothing after that.”
I shake my head and turn back around just to survey the area again. Uneasiness makes the hair on the back of my neck stand, mixing with the freezing air that whips across my face.
“Alex is still at the house, right?”
“Yeah, and he promised to work Daisy today instead of letting Ashia turn her into a potato. So, she’ll be alert and ready for anything.”
I just roll my eyes.
“She’s Ashia’s dog now. She can treat her as good as she wants. Daisy is four years old. She was going to retire eventually.”
“Yeah, but K-9 operatives work until they’re like seven.” Zeke crosses his arms.
“Well, I said four was fine, damnit.”
“Alright, D. Jesus. Calm down, I’m just busting your balls.”
“Do I look like I’m in the mood for that?” I lash out at him, instantly regretting it.
“What’s really going on, D?”
“I don’t know. I just…” I blow hot air into my hands and attempt to gather my thoughts. “I want everything to be perfect for them… Ashia deserves the chance to deliver her with a clear mind, not worried about an enemy busting through the door. Newborns literally feed off their mothers, and I don’t just mean for food. They feel their emotions, too. If Ashia is scared, then the baby will be, too, and I don’t want that for either of them…”
“You’ve done a great job at making her feel safe. I mean, I know you’re all about honesty and shit, but keeping this from her is a good idea. She’s at the house, protected. Satori doesn’t have Kade to hack his way in anymore, and even if Daisy is getting lazy and a little chunky, she’s still not going to let anything happen to Ash. Plus, Ser is coming over tonight, and I don’t think anyone wants to get on her bad side.”
I chuckle at that. He does have some good points, despite my unwillingness to believe him. It’s hard to accept that thingsmight actually be okay. We’ve had so much happen in such a short amount of time that I don’t know if can let it go. I’m trying for her sake. Ireallyam. But it’s hard to shove my obsessive tendencies aside…especially when I’m supposed to be out on the street tonight.
“If something else happens to her, I would never be able to forgive myself…”
“Then we’ll just have to do our best to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
I stand in the doorway of our bedroom and take in the marvelous sight of her, trying to silence the thoughts in my head. This woman is never going to stop amazing me. To deal will everything she’s had to, and to handle it with such grace—even as she grows the life we created in her body—warms me. She’s melting my worries without even realizing it.
I had to come home before we started the shift. There was no way I was going to make it out there tonight without laying my eyes on her. We searched for as long as we could, but still found nothing. Tony is currently on the railyard property, politely suggesting that he needs to see their security footage from today. I had half a mind to storm in and ask for it myself, but there was no way they were going to give it to me—not with how strict their privacy policies are.
Ashia’s sitting up, rubbing lotion on her very swollen stomach as she lounges against the headboard. I suggested that she take a hot shower to try and relieve some of the pain she’s in. It seems to have helpedsome, I think. She still looks a little tense, but at least the pain has eased from her face.
I step up to her and take over, rubbing the lotion in as gently as I can manage. She has five more weeks to go, but she’s alreadyso exhausted. Serena said almost all first-time mothers go past their due dates, but I don’t think that’ll be the case for us. At least I hope not. We knew that with Ashia’s petite size, she would have some difficulty as her belly grew, but seeing her in so much pain is killing me inside. She’s had it rough this pregnancy between being taken, the car crash, and her blood pressure issues—not to mention all of the stress we’ve both been under.
A part of me still can’t believe this is happening.My daughter. Our little girl…I wasn’t nearly as scared before I was taken. I was so sure I could protect her the way she needs, and I thought I was moving past those feelings of doubt. Until today… The possible sighting of Satori is hanging over my head like a scythe, and I can’t ignore it any longer.
My hands graze the scars that are left on her body, and dread fills my chest. Her screams replay over and over in my head, calling out to the voices and trying to coax them back out. I can’t spiral, not now. I need to remain levelheaded for her sake and not fall back into old habits. The last time I left her at home and stormed into battle, she was taken from me, and she’s not feeling near well enough to go to the Attic. I’m constantly hanging between a thousand possibilities, and they’re all pulling me apart.
As if she could read my mind, her soft, angelic touch runs through my hair, gently scraping against my scalp and sending a tingle down my neck. Our connection doesn’t need words. Just as I can sense how she feels, she has the same ability as me. Ashia is my solace, and I know that a life without her is no life at all. She will always be the center of my universe, and once our little girl is here, she’ll hold her there with her.
“Are you okay?” she asks me softly.
“Yeah, little wolf, I'm okay. What about you? How's my Queen?” I avert my gaze from the tiny foot trying to break her mother’s skin and meet her eyes.
“Honestly? I’m exhausted…” She lets out a tiny huff that’s supposed to be a laugh, but her faux smile doesn’t get anywhere near her eyes.
