Page 83 of Scarlet Wars
He laughed, a sound with no humor in it. “And now this. Man, am I cursed.”
He closed the distance between us until the air around him felt like pressure. “But I’ll be damned if I let you chain yourself to me out of fear of repercussion or some false sense of duty. That is one mistake I willnotmake.”
He reached up and brushed my hair behind my ear like he’d done a thousand times before. I let him do it, because refusing felt spiteful, but the familiar flutter that used to rise at his touch didn’t come.
“I will not let the Chiefs dictate what you do with your heart, nor with your mind,” he said firmly.
My eyes searched him, his words at odds with everything I’d expected. “You’d defy the Chiefs for me?” I whispered.
“I would,” James said. “Though I do believe, on some level, they’re right.”
I frowned and stepped back so I could steal a breath. “You believe they’re right to force us into a True Bond?”
“Gods, no. But… I do believe Alek is our son.”
I took another step away from him. “Because of those four letters?”
James shook his head. “Not just that, though it certainly hints at it. Colt was right to say the Chiefs would never accept only a first name as definitive proof. If they truly believe me to be the father, they know something we don’t. I’ve been trying to nex Stephen to ask him about it, but I can’t reach him.”
Stephen. Where the hell was he in all of this?
“Any idea where he is?” I asked.
“Last I heard he was still searching the African Collectives for Gordon.”
Right. Gordon. The man responsible for Julian’s mind-rape when I was a newborn.
Good times.
I sighed and rubbed my temples until the ache behind them eased a fraction. “Okay, so now what?”
James cleared his throat. “How—uhm—how are things between you and Colt?”
I snorted. “Complicated would be an understatement. But the Chiefs were crystal clear about what happens if I stray…” I cracked my neck. “So he knows nothing can ever happen between us.”
He watched me for a long second. “Is that what you want?”
“There is no room to think about what I want,” I said, keeping my voice level.
He stepped in closer. “I disagree. I think what you want makes all the difference in the world.”
A warm smile tugged at my mouth. “You only say that because you’re the fierce new Leader of the largest Collective on the planet.”
He chuckled, before dragging in a slow breath, like he was steadying himself for a blow, his hands flexing uselessly before curling into fists again. “Maybe. But whatever you decide to do, I think I also need to make something clear. Something I should’ve a long time ago.”
My frown deepened. “What is it?”
His green eyes locked onto mine, raw and unflinching. “I still love you, Emma.”
I shut my lids against it, a small, defeated sound leaving my chest. “I think you love a version of me that no longer exists.”
He smiled, small and tired. “What, you’re no longer stubborn? No longer fighting me on everything I say?”
I snorted despite myself. “I didn’t changethatmuch.”
“Exactly.”
I tilted my head and nodded once. “But I did change, James.”
