Page 42 of Loyal
“Not everyone has a criminal record. Did you know about his record?” Before I can say anything, he continues. “His dad was a drug runner, and they suspect that he helped run drugs on the street. He was arrested in a stolen car when he was fifteen. Got caught shoplifting multiple times, but the stores never pressed charges. Then of course you know about the gang he’s part of. Lord knows they aren’t upstanding citizens.”
Closing my eyes I take a deep breath. Then another.
I’ve known Billy my entire life, and I swear just when I think I know him, he goes and does something I never saw coming. The man really doesn’t know how to bow out gracefully or when to cut his losses.
“Billy, can you just tell me what you are trying to accomplish here?”
“I’m trying to point out that you are spending your time with a criminal. That you need to end this little midlife crisis now and let me come home,” he sneers.
I look him in the eye and speak slowly. “Billy, we divorced because you didn’t make me happy anymore. We aren’t right for each other, and honestly, we never were. If it wasn’t for Farrah, I would have never married you. As for Loyal, he is none of your business. Yes, I’m aware of his past, and like I said, people change. The past deserves to stay in the past. End of discussion.”
“People don’t change that much, Sami,” he grits out.
“You sure as hell did,” I say without thinking about it.
His head jerks back as if I hit him. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Now if that was all, I have dinner on the stove, and you need to leave.”
Before he can say anything, I slam the door shut in his face, flipping the lock for good measure.
I tip my head back and breathe slowly.
“Are you still going to see him? After everything Dad told you?” Farrah asks.
Goddammit.
Turning, I face my daughter. She stands across from me, arms crossed over her chest and a frown on her face.
“Answer me,” she snaps.
“Farrah, watch your tone. I’m your mother, and it would be nice if you remembered that.”
“Are you going to keep seeing him?”
“Yes, I’m going to keep seeing Loyal. Yes, I acknowledge that he has a past, that he made mistakes, but he’s atoned for them. He acknowledges that he fucked up and has changed. He had a messed-up childhood, and it shows, but people change, Farrah.”
Farrah laughs sarcastically. “So his mistakes can be swept under the rug? Why not Dad’s, huh? Why doesn’t he deserve a second chance but your boyfriend does?”
I shake my head. “Farrah, that’s not how it works. Comparing the two is like comparing apples to oranges. Loyal never hurt me. He never hurt anyone. Your dad, though, he hurt me. Continuously. Day after day. Year after year. Do I think he did it intentionally? No, but he did, and at the end of the day, we just aren’t compatible. I know that hurts you, and I’m sorry, but I can’t be with him. I won’t.”
She looks at me with disgust. “God, you’re such a selfish bitch. I don’t even know why Dad still wants to be with you.”
“Farrah Grace,” I scream, “that is enough. You will not speak to me that way. No matter how you feel about me, I am still your mother.”
“I don’t want you to be my mother anymore.”
My heart stops in my chest. This is it.
Taking a deep breath, I finally say, “Then maybe you should live with your father. Apparently he is parent of the year while I’m fucking up left and right. If you hate me that much,” I sob, “really hate me, then call your father and have him come get you.I don’t want you to live a miserable life like I have. I want you to be happy even if it kills me to not be with you.”
“Mom…” she says quietly, but I don’t stay to hear what she has to say.
I stalk down the hall and slam the door shut.
I don’t know how much more I can take.
The bike vibrates under me as I ride next to Fang. The van trails behind us with a car behind it. I look in my mirror and see the two bikes behind the car with a gap.
